Lighten Up

Today I decided to lighten my hair a little. I'm sure in the sun it'll look like quite a lot, but in normal indoors, I doubt too many people will notice. Time will tell no doubt. Why lighten my hair? I'm not entirely sure to be honest! Looking back at various points over the years I've been most shades from blonde to black including a little blue and some purple too. Its quite funny actually (psycho analysing myself here) it seems to be something I do when I don't want to think about anything else. When things in life get hectic, or complicated or I just want out. Perhaps it is a form of transformation into someone else. Despite the fact that in reality I am still the same person. Hmmm, I wonder what a shrink would say?

Yes, I'm in a thoughtful mood. Goodness knows why because of late I feel like all I have done is think and it's keeping me up! Either that or it is the pain of my teeth. Which brings me to an update on that front. The dentist today was terrible. No, not really. I had forgotten just how much I hate going to the dentist, how it scares me and how I break out in a sweat and get really nervous. I think it goes back to that phobia I have of teeth. Anyway, next Friday I will have the top left hand wisdom tooth removed which as it happens has a hole in it which also explains the infection that is there. However, the bigger news is that I actually have to have my bottom wisdom teeth surgically removed at the hospital as apparently that's beyond the means of a dental practice. I don't care, I'm going to get knocked out and that's what matters. I'm sure it'll cost an arm and a leg but if it helps me sleep at night I am not going to complain! In saying that, I'm kinda scared about next Friday because chances are I'm not going to get knocked out for that one and suddenly everyone has felt inclined to tell me all their horror stories: I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THEM!!

The people next door moved out today. Just in case you wanted to know. Not that I knew them of course, it was just an observation that I made out my window as I was passing it.

This afternoon I venture to the Croydon Library. Yes I now know where it is and can compile my observation notes! Frankly as far as libraries go I wasn't overly impressed with the layout and there are no catalogue computers anywhere, or so it seemed. How on earth am I supposed to find out if they have a specific book or not?! Anyways, I wasn't able to join because I had no ID on me which confirms my address. Note to self, hurry up and get a UK drivers licence. That'll solve the ID problem.

My weekend, well what I have as a weekend, seems to be somewhat empty. Kinda the way my flat has felt this week. I've become very aware of how alone I am for some reason. I can't really place why, I just have. I need a couch. Maybe that will help. But back to the weekend. Saturday morning will be an insane one at work. I can see it now. Its all going to go horribly wrong and its all going to be my fault. I can hear it now. Suck it up Rachael. After that, well, home. And Sunday presents the option of going touring someplace in London. Though, that's yet to be confirmed. Technically I'll be a tag along, and there once would have been a time when my pride wouldn't have allowed that. But my pride is not keeping me company at the moment, so I'm ignoring it.

Right, I think I'm due for the next dose of painkillers. Bring it on! Hmmm, that and dinner I think. Oh and maybe some CSI watching, but maybe that should wait until after dinner . . . LOL!