3330 Miles

That's the total sum of distance we drove from Los Angeles into Lexington to return the car. Which in itself was a story because the return point is listed as Lexington Bluegrass Airport. Now you see, the thing about Lexington Airport is its maybe twice the size of Wynayrd Airport, plus some. So it's not real big. So it's really hard to get lost in. Not that we got lost. But we soon discovered that the return point may have been listed as Lexington Bluegrass Airport, but the location was actually off site and we had to follow a shuttle bus to goodness knows where in Lexington. All I can figure out it, that it was actually no where near Lexington Bluegrass Airport. These people are on Frosty's side. They're all a pack of liars.

So I have missed a great bunch of time and out last few location. I actually have an offline entry on my laptop that I wrote on our night in Chattanooga, Tennessee because I couldn't pick up wireless for some stupid reason in the room we moved to. Always a great adventure on that last night to be had, I'm sure. Basically there were toilet issues and we had to shift rooms. That's all I am saying.

Anyways, that last day on the road was probably a good thing. It was high time to get out of the Van and walk and be in a house. We stopped just before the Kentucky boarder and spent a bunch of USD on some pretty awesome looking fireworks which I have to tell you I'm rather excited about lighting. I can't help it, maybe there is a small strain of pyromaniac in me.

Alas we are back home in Richmond, Kentucky. And it really is a beautiful state. I just love the scenery and the small town feel of the place. That you can be in the middle of nowhere and there is a huge massive world out there and you can just put your head in the ground and ignore it. I really love it. Hence it's been a while since I wrote. It's been a blur of catching up on sleep, unpacking, getting ready for Christmas and freezing my arse off. Seriously guys. Today is the first time is gone above zero since returning. I even feel last night on some bricks out back (twice mind you) and I can assure you it's not fun. It hurts!

That aside, I went shopping for some warm gloves and a super cool but way too warm jacket. It's multiple layers and makes me look like a marshmallow man or something. Its rather hilarious. But certainly it'll be needed when we head North to Minnesota in February, and very much so when I head to Ottawa at the end of January to see Erin M. Yay! I even have long johns. It's scary. I'm an Australian, we don't even know how to wear these things! Or at least I've never had to.

So it's Christmas in Australia and Sandi takes prize as sending me the first SMS of the holiday. At 1am in the morning, what on earth are you doing up that early girl!! But thanks, the sentiment and thought is much appreciated because it's going to suck to wait another 24 hours to open presents. I can't help it, I'm a kid at heart :-)

Thus today, December 24th, will consist of baking, present wrapping and rescuing Maggie from her void of boredom which seems very Maggie like since I imagine that it's rather weird not to be thinking about study all the frigging time. Rest assured my friend, time with me will always be entertaining!!

Anyways, I think that just about does it at the moment, time to start the day, more so that just waking up and having breakfast and a cup of Yoga Tea. Its raining now.

The Last Leg

Its our last night on the road. Its been a long trip. It'll be good to get out of the car. I've experienced a real life Road Trip of long proportions across several states from West to South to South East. Phew, lots to see and experience. Tonight we rest our heads in Chattanooga, Tennessee.

Friday we drove across the rest of Mississippi, crossing into Alabama and further still into Georgia, spending the night in Atlanta. One thing I have noticed about big city America is that there is a theme of confusing roads and that usually includes a six lane freeway at some point!! I liked Atlanta even if most of it was seen in the dark and in the rain.

Today, Saturday, we were in Atlanta for the morning and early afternoon, seeing a puppet show about a love struck snowman and wandering around the Puppetry museum there. They even had the original KOB puppet on display. But the pretty cool thing was they had Big Bird there! Yep, in a display case as though he had jumped off the TV screen and into the museum. It was great!

The last night on the road has had drama. Issues with a toilet which lead to it overflowing which has resulted in us moving rooms and now dealing with a smoking room smell. Crap. And that's only a part of it! Oh wells. Tomorrow its back to Richmond, Kentucky and back to the Gow household and the comfort and warmth it holds waiting for us. Woohoo!

Erin read Twilight, that new book everyone seems to be reading and talking about. I've not a clue. It took me like five years to catch onto the Harry Potter phrase so you know. . . Anyways, we been wandering into places to buy the second book in about three different states, if not more! That in itself has been an adventure.

Anyways, its late and Mrs Bucket is on the TV so I am going.

Entering the Deep South

Well here I sit in Jackson, Mississippi and it's so humid outside! Goodness me! It was like the moment we crossed the Mississippi River from Louisiana to Mississippi the humidity went through the roof!!

Its been interesting to watch the landscape change again. Though the last of three days in Texas was kinda foggy and this afternoon across Louisiana got sort of misty too . . .but you can see subtle changes. I guess the changes have more been in the people. From Hispanics to, well I guess African-Americans is the politically correct term these days. I'm not a racist, far from, but suddenly I'm much more aware of my skin colour which up until now hasn't really been a conscious though. But let me go back a few days.

Tuesday morning we left Odessa, Texas. I left off talking about the Globe Theatre. Well by the time we left (it seriously took us an hour to get out of that place, we thought we'd remain there our whole life!!) we came across not only Shakespeare's Globe, but a scaled replica of Stone Henge! It was hilarious!! Eventually we found our way out of Odessa and hit the road again. Nothing major happened between there and Dallas, only that Dallas and Fort Worth are about 30 miles apart but they sprawl and mix in the centre. That place was huge!! And the traffic and roads in the dark are majorly confusing!!

That night I was introduced to another American Eatery -Denny's. I have to admit, I'm not hugely inclined to go back. I mean the food was nice and all and the pumpkin pie was yummy, but I don't know. It sorta creeped me out a little bit. Maybe it was that particular one.

Oh my gosh, third night running the cartoon version of Survivor is on Cartoon Network and I'm not too sure how much more I can handle. Its so stupid but Erin and Nancy love it. I don't know why!! Its on at the moment and they're laughing and oh my gosh, is it any wonder I've been playing games on the computer in the evening?!!

Anyways, Dallas was freezing and we woke in the morning to a mist and light rain. Visibility wasn't really good so it made driving on those mad highways even worse! At one point I counted five layers of roadway piling skywards. Shoot it was crazy. We ventured to a Mc Donalds built like a Happy Meal but was all very posh inside (totally bizarre!) and then we continued on to Texas Stadium, home to the Dallas Cowboys which was pretty cool. The guy who signed us in said Yáll about three times which just cracked my up (not to his face mind) and we went into the Pro-Store and saw lots of mad things to buy.

The rest of the drive to Shreveport, Louisiana was in fog so we really didn't see too much. We actually arrived in Shreveport in daylight which made a nice change! We stayed at Diamond Jacks Casino which was an interesting experience and a huge room! Seriously, the bathroom part would have been as big as the bedroom part!! And brightly coloured too. But totally cool. The casino was kinda lame, but the main activity of the night was catching up with Shanna and Phillip and finally meeting Anna-Claire! And how adorable is she?! And just a cute baby! And totally mad about Shanna. You can see it when it beams across her face. We ate at a Steak House on the Boardwalk which in itself was a really interesting place down along the river. Its sort of set up like shops on a street, but there are no cars down there and kinda like an outdoor shopping centre. But it was all festive and we even saw Santa on a tram.

Today, Thursday, we stopped for some Mini-Golf in Bossier City before hitting the road again. I won!! Ha!! But 4 strokes, but I won! So the Chattanooga Challenge will be on and a chance for Gow Snr to re-claim her title of winner!! Anyways, it was misty again today and slightly humid, but like I said, big time once we crossed the river. Drove a little around Vicksburg and saw some lovely old homes and the place where Coca-cola was first bottled. There were even casinos on the river too!!

Anyways, I have some Ben and Jerry's calling my name so I should go and answer it. Traveling across America in a car has been an interesting experience, its a good chance to learn more about me, Nancy and Erin too! Oh and Sealy, who seems to be my outlet of someone to talk to when I get bored. She always answers.

Tomorrow, we head to Atlanta, driving across Alabama in the process.

Miles and Miles

The desert has changed again. This evening I find myself in Odessa, Texas, after spending last night in El Paso and traveling through New Mexico to get there. Eventually I did fall asleep in Phoenix, some hours later we were late getting up and leaving for the day. Oh wells, we can do that once in a while!

Yesterday I felt like all we did was drive, because in the grand scheme of things, that's exactly what we did. Shortly after leaving Phoenix, we pulled into a rest stop and ended up doing a little shopping from some local Indians. I purchased some jewelery and Nancy some pottery. Its beautiful. Back on the road we passed more and more mountains of Arizona. You'd think I'd get sick of it, but the scenery is forever changing and the mountains are just stunning.

Before leaving Arizona we stopped at The Thing, one of those roadside gimmicks that just suck you in for paying $1 and unsure of what you are going to get. The gas station was just a small part of it (coupled with a Dairy Queen). Erin decided to sit the experience out, so Nancy and I paid our $1 and ventured out to see The Thing, following giant yellow footsteps. well basically it was three sheds of really old 'things' which was hilariously bad and we were in stitches. We'd been in anticipation of The Thing for some 30 miles. I guess it was a welcome distraction and in a bad kinda way was well worth it!

Crossing over into New Mexico I became more aware of the number of cargo train on the train tracks. I guess that's because the Interstate was a lot closer to the train tracks than it had been in the previous states. The landscape changed a little, more red and orange sand than anything else. And big boulders. About half way through our trek across New Mexico, we stopped at Shakespeare, a ghost town just off the interstate. It was actually closed, but we took a few photos as dusk fast approached. Shortly before the boarder, we stopped at Cracker Barrel for dinner and oh my gosh I had forgotten just how much I love the food there! Could have done without the spoilt child screaming but oh wells, these things happen.

By 8pm we'd crossed over the boarder once again, this time arriving in Texas. Yes, El Paso was the stop for last night in a somewhat, lower scale hotel than we'd been staying in! Don't get me wrong, it was clean and all, it just felt, well, creepy. That and you could hear just about everything going on next door or up stairs.

This morning we woke a little late again missing breakfast provided by the hotel which probably wasn't a bad thing. Thus I was introduced to IHOP. International House Of Pancakes. Crickey the menu was mind boggling!! Spanish became a lot more fluent in the people around us and everything printed is suddenly duel language. This is because Mexico is so very close. That and a lot of the South has a high population of immigrants. Anyways, over breakfast we made plans for the day.

First stop, Tony Lama's. Yep, I went and bought a pair of cowboy boots and they are so friggin awesome!! The bottom part is brown and the top part is green and that sounds totally gross but they are so not! The store was massive and had a large range of boots to choose from. Who'd have thought working out shoe size could be so complicated! From getting the boots, we travelled down along the Boarder Highway, looking across into Mexico and being in the shadow of the brown fence which separates the two countries. Its crazy. About 40 miles from El Paso all the traffick was diverted off the Interstate for a secutiry check to make sure vehicles weren't harbouring illegal immigrants. Its so weird.

Pretty much today we just drove. Texas (or this part of it) is rather flat and boring. Yes more desert, but at least the other states have had some elevation and tumble weeds in it.

Odessa is a lot bigger than we thought it would be. Taking a wrong turn actually took us the long way to our hotel and it felt like we'd left the town!! Rumour has it there is a copy of Shakespeares Globe here in town. Perhaps we'll check that out tomorrow before leaving for Dallas.

Restless nights in Phoenix

I can't sleep. Erin would tell me its because there is something on my mind which is why my brain won't switch off. Personally, I don't think it's that. I'm just sure my mind wants to constantly be on the go because it has ADD or something. That's just how it is sometimes. So our room at Hyatt Place is pretty cool I have to admit. Sorta dark at the moment, but very comfy! There's a lot of noise around, well background noise which just seems amplified at the moment. Simply because I can't sleep. People out in the hallway (are they having a HA party out there?!) and the traffic going by. Even at this ungodly hour of the morning.

Speaking of God, we drove along on the way to somewhere (very descriptive, I know) and the ten commandments were posted sign by sign. I always think what you see along the side of the road is a good reminder that you are in America. Its endlessly amusing. I wonder if we shall indeed see some fork cactus today?

Do you know how incredibly hard it is sitting here knowing I have a 42"plasma in the same room with 30 channels of who knows what and know that I can't put it on?! Ohh I hear rustling, maybe someone else is awake?

Nope, seems not. *sighs* oh well I can live in hope right?! Speaking of TV, we caught a bit of a show called How Things Work and they were talking about the Turkey industry here in America. Some interesting facts: Five months is the lifespan of a turkey bred to eat. All the turkey's are artificially inseminated, the males and females never mix. Turkey farms pump out on average 250 million turkey's a year, which equates to approx 1 per person. Americans eat about 17 pounds of turkey per person each year.

That's pretty sad. Its like 3am and I've driven across some amazing parts of the country all ready and all I can think about is turkey? Hmmm maybe I am hungry. I might go rustle me up some snacks!

Land of Scenery

Desert has been a running theme the past few days. After leaving Vagas it felt like we drove through miles and miles of it, because in all honesty, that's what we did. The excitement came when we discovered that we were to cross the Hoover Dam which I have to admit was very cool indeed. Busy, and cool too. They're building a bridge across the gorge (if that's what it's called??) and Nancy was rather excited about that. Erin just thought she was insane. I just wanted to take a photo knowing that one day it would be a famous landmark.

Sometime later into Arizona we realised that we were in a spot of bother. We were running out of fuel!! I tell you what, for a nation which thus far has blown my mind with the number of exits on the interstate and the sheer number of gas stations and take out places you can find on those exits, it was some 100 miles until we came to a gas station at Kingman in Arizona! I can tell you, that great van pulled into the place on the smell of a rag. OMG it was freakin scary! Though in there I managed to run over a tumble weed which was rather atmospheric I have to admit. The desert just isn't the desert without tumble weed.

Gassed up we continued onto the next great destination. The Grand Canyon. With a late start and several stops under our belt, we didn't arrive in the National Park until after dark. However, I saw the most stunning sunset I have ever seen. It was simply stunning. I saw a beauty I've never seen before, it was magic, really it was.

This morning, Saturday morning, Nancy and I were up at 7am to take a short walk to the South rim of The Grand Canyon to see the sun come up. Having not see the Canyon the day before, I really wasn't sure what to expect. But it took my breath away. It was freezing, I tell you that much! But silent and open and just . . .WOW. It was well worth it and just so beautiful. I can't even put it into words. It left me breathless. Quite literally.

An hour later we got some well needed warm coffee (oh so good!) and returned to the room. We spent the better half of today going to various look out points across the Canyon, stumbling upon a wedding in the process! Fancy getting married on the edge of the Grand Canyon! Seriously, if you only go one place in Arizona, let it be there. Amazing. Beautiful. Stunning. Breathtaking. Around Noon we found Desert View and caught a glimpse of the Colorado River and the freezing air around it.

Hitting the road again, we went through more desert, this time more like what I was expecting to see. The wind was insane though. The strongest I have even encountered in my life. We stopped at a Native American Indian roadside stall type of thing and the wind nearly broke the door off its hinges. driving further along still, we spied a sand storm in the distance which was rather cool. We drove through Navajo and Anasazi area and finally into Flagstaff where we ran into snow! It was awesome!! It snowed for quite some time after that and was bitterly cold, obviously. Arizona has been such a stunning state to drive through and we'll see more of it tomorrow. I think we've spent all the drive (or at least 90%) in Arizona at an elevation of 3000 feet or more! Seriously!

This evening we're settled in Phoenix, where we arrived after dark, yet again. As darkness fell it was pointed out that there were fork cactus out there in the darkness. I so hope we see some tomorrow!! It's a long day on the road, our longest so far. About eight hours we think. So tonight we shall sleep well, get an early night followed by an early start. So I should be off!

On The Open Road

Its been an amazing few days. Seriously. I can't think of any other words. Okay maybe I can. Bizarre and awesome and incredible and mind boggling. I feel like the last three days have had so much packed into them that it's no wonder I'm feeling a tad on the tired side.

Now, I left off at Disneyland I believe. Upon reflection, the place does seem to have a somewhat magical appeal to it. However, Thursday morning we picked up the hire car. Nancy and I made the journey to John Wayne Airport in Orange County to pick up the mini van. Yep, a white Dodge Grand Mini Van. Believe me, we need it with the amount of luggage we have and how much we are picking up along the way. On the way there we got stuck in the morning peak hour traffic (we were on a shuttle bus) and I tell you now, you've nothing to complain about when you consider we were stuck in six lanes (going one direction!!) of traffic jam pleasure. It was insane.

So we jump into the van, play with all the gadgets and go ohh and ahh over all the cool things it does (and believe me, there are many) and off we go, back to Anaheim, our luggage and Erin. Santa was down in the lobby area upon our return which was pretty cool. Some time later, a lovely person with a luggage trolley helped us load the van and we were on our way to Las Vegas!!

I've never actually seen the desert before, and in the past few days I've seen how much it varies. We crossed the Mojave Desert in the early afternoon. Its rather strange and stunning in a stark kind of way. Our stop came at a small place called Baker where we saw the worlds biggest Thermometer (the gift shop was closed) and a very corny place called Alien Jerky which was merely for my benefit and totally worth the stop, even if it was only for a laugh and a few small souveneers.

Late Afternoon we crossed into Nevada. You're driving along as the sun is going down, through the desert and as soon as you hit the state line, BAM, there's a huge casino with lots of flashing lights and mega huge roller coaster. It was at this point I was like bouncing around with energy because it seemed to be taking FOREVER to get to Las Vegas. Driving along pass more mountains and sand and rocks and then suddenly, there it is. In the dusk this mass of lights and buildings and cars and its just crazy. And as soon as you lay your eyes on it, Vegas just sort of sucks you in. It casts its magic on you. It was all so exciting!! And of course you can see our hotel, The Luxor, from ages away, the big pyramid and Sphinx gives it away, or maybe it's the huge beacon that shoots up from its point into the sky . . .

Its hard to really talk about Vegas. Its just so overwhelming. I guess it's like a hangover. It's a great journey and fun at the time, but you wake up the next morning and wonder what the hell you were thinking the night before. Just to clarify, I did not get drunk, married or win the jackpot. Rather I had a light beer, went on a roller coaster and lost about $30. But that amused me right up until midnight, which I was determined to reach just to not pike it in Vegas, unlike two Gow women I know. So yes, I played some one arm bandits and we ate at New York New York after riding the terrifyingly awesome roller coaster on its roof. Friggin hell, it was worth the $14 I paid!! After dinner the three of us walked as far as the Bellagio, at which point Erin and Nancy went back to the hotel and I walked the remainder of The Strip, stepping in and gambling at some of the biggest named Casinos Sin City has to offer. It was all a blur of noises and lights and people. Needless to say I returned and went to bed on very tired tourist. And it's no wonder I had weird dreams that night.

Friday morning I woke and looked out the winder of our 16th floor spa room to realise that Vegas is dull during the daylight. It really is a bunch of buildings in the middle of the desert. Its incredible the difference from the night time. Utterly incredible.

Starbucks was down in the lobby so after a stop for breakfast and some last minute gambling to wash down with the coffee, we headed back to the van and continued upon our journey.

Looking back I can't really figure out why I was so excited to get there. I mean it was great and one of those experiences that you just have to have and well, experience, but it doesn't leave a glowing impression on me. Its like the lights and the glitz and the glamour all faded away with the bizarre set of dreams I had that night.

The Wonderful World of Disney

Its one of those pilgrimage places for some people. Disneyland is a place I've been to before, back in 2001 with my SOAR buddies, before the place was prettied up for it's 50th birthday celebrations. I have to admit, you can see the difference, which is nice. This time it felt a little more magical.

Having been to California Adventure the day before, you can see vast differences. Namely in the crowd. And it had nothing to do with the weather, despite it being winter I do believe I've got a little tan line all ready. In California the crowd was as expected when you take into account that it's off season. Disneyland however was packed! Seriously, I remember it being really busy that hot July back in 2001, but aside from the fact it was a lot cooler, it still could have been summer. I guess the place really can be packed year round.

So I only ended up getting a photo with one character. Which is fine really, it was Goofy and he rocks. It just seemed like too much effort to wait in line for a character photo when I could wait in line for a ride. Crap, there were some good ones too! I have to said either Thunder Mountain or Indiana Jones were my favs. Splash Mountain was closed because someone broke it (there were still people stuck in it!!) and well, I think we did just about most others.

It was a hell of a long day. The ankles are starting to ache badly, well there were last night and this morning I've just sort of fallen from the bed to the floor because I couldn't sleep and here I am. I've not actually stood up yet. But it's all been worth it.

On the way into the park yesterday morning (yesterday was Disneyland) we saw a very cute humming bird in the Birds of Paradise plants which are everywhere. They are beautiful. Oh and I never got to go on the very cool looking water slide here at the hotel because it was closed by the time I got down there. But despite the hour, there were a heap of people in the pool and hot tub.

Kids here are very amusing and so animated, its been great fun watching them all. Today we pick up the hire car and hit the road. Las Vagas here we come!!

From Hollywood to Anaheim

Right now I sit at the desk of our hotel room in the Paradise Pier Hotel which is a part of the Disneyland Resorts. The weird thing is that I am near an air vent and I can hear a baby crying. I'm hoping that my theory that it's travelling up from another room is correct and that there isn't actually a baby in the venting system.

Phew, it's tiring being a tourist! Yesterday we spent day two in Los Angeles, though it was really day one of sightseeing because the day prior to that we stayed mostly in just to try and get our heads in the right time zone. So we made the journey out to Hollywood Boulevard, just on an hour on the train system which in itself is rather interesting and has been creating using good space between the direction lanes on the highways as opposed to having a median strip down the middle. At least they didn't have to clear more land. Los Angeles is an interesting place, and much more Spanish feeling than I expected it to be. Kinda old too. As for Hollywood Boulevard, it wasn't what I was expecting. Much more old and seedy than you would think. In the grand scheme of things its not all that glitzy and there are lots of people trying to give you maps to famous peoples home. I think I stand by my initial thoughts of Los Angeles back in 2001, it's not really a place I'd come back to. It just doesn't feel right.

However, it was fun pointing out the names on the stars even if we didn't see all 2000 of them! Graumans' Chinese Theatre was pretty amazing, some of the hand and foot prints are a good two or three decades old. There were people out the front dressed up as Batman and Elvis and a few others. Just there for the tourists really. I can't imagine what the place would be like in the summer when traffic through there is much higher. What a nightmare.

Heading back into downtown, I made a pilgrimage to a place called Casey's Irish Bar and Grill which for most people means nothing. However, for my Phile friends this is the bar that was used in filming several scenes in Fight the Future. OMG!!! We stayed and had a beer and dessert and I took photos and was all in awe of it. It was just so . . . surreal but totally mega cool and Erin got me a shirt for Christmas which was just the bestest thing. Again, it'll me nothing to the average person walking along the street who sees me in it, but as for me . . .score!

Night two at La Quinta was a quiet one with some early dinner (ohh Taco Bells for fast food Mexican) and a viewing of Mrs Doubtfire which was on TV. That and some totally old school Family Feud which I haven't seen in many years and never the American version.

This morning I woke the others up in order to get moving. We had to change hotels and get out to Anaheim (where the Disneyland Parks and Resorts are) and get into California Adventure!! I missed going there back in 2001 so I wanted to go this time around. I was very impressed with my efforts. We were on the bus from LAX to Anaheim at 9:30. Go me.

California Adventure is kinda like Disney in the city. It's not quite Disneyland, and has some cool stuff in it, but its missing something. However, went on a super cool roller coaster twice (one in daylight, one in twilight) and the log rides and all sorts. Did a little shopping, took a few photos (not as many as you guys would think) and just walked around a lot. It was kinda busy, but again certainly nothing compared to how the summer would see it.

We had to walk through the Grant California Resort in order to get to the guest entrance to the resort. Of my gosh it was like walking into a real Alpine Resort. It was stunning. Seriously. Our hotel is ocean themed and even the little bottles of shampoo etc have black lids on them which have Mickey Mouse ears sticking out the top. Its very cool. Am over hearing Christmas Carols all ready, and Americans talking at me is such a jarring experience. I think I'll be glad to get on the road and get away from big city America.

In saying that, tomorrow we head into Disneyland. The actual original park. It'll be good. This time round I think I'll be a lot more conscious and less tired and up for a bit more fun! We can actually see the fireworks from our hotel out on the swimming pool balcony with the cool water slide. Which reminds me, I was going to try that out!! I'm outta here!

Touchdown In Los Angeles

Check it out, it's 6 something in the morning and I am awake! Not too bad when you consider that I usually wake around that time at home for work and it's actually 1:52am, so my laptop tells me.

Finally we made it to the USA. The last few days have been a blur. Quite literally. I know at some point we spent our last night in our unit, cleaned and bit and spent some time smelling like chlorine. I can't tell you now, the excitement the man shows in the Easy Off Bam commercial, it's all fake. I had no where near the same amount of joy from that product. False advertising if you ask me.

This brings us to shifting to my aunt and uncles for the last three nights. Yet more of a blur of re-packing, little sleep and lots of details. My car was handed over to my brother (sniff sniff, I'll miss you babe, you've been so great to me) and we had moments of wonder just how much we'd pay for excess baggage. Soul Mama's on Saturday was somewhat disappointing in the sense that many people were coming, but not many actually did. If I am honest, that seems to be the story of my life! I have to admit that I can't actually be disappointed, in the past two years here I really haven't settled too much back into life here and thus don't have a social following as such. Point is that it was yet another confirmation that the big heave -ho overseas is a right choice to make.

Yesterday, Sunday, seemed to go on forever. Which is probably correct because it probably lasted something like 40 hours. I can't do that maths right now. Our flight was late because the Qantas engineers had found an issue with the seal on the door so we didn't board until 1:30 when we were actually supposed to take off at 12:10. Personally, I didn't have an issue. I'm glad they found the problem on the ground before we had to take off. I still maintain that they're a safe airline, no one has died yet and planes have been landed safely. And they're service is still perfectly fine.

And so the 14 hours and 20 minute journey across the ocean began. Oh. My. God. It was long. I had back pain and couldn't sleep which is something I haven't been getting a lot of lately so it was just all bad. I felt like it was going forever!! However, I managed to squeeze in three screenings of I Want To Believe (Squee!!!) plus some Simpsons, Are You Being Served, some CSI and the start of Wanted, which lost my attention about 40 minutes in. Oh wells. Thus, we landed!

My past experiences going through LAX have mostly consisted of blurs trying to catch connecting flight, having me stressed out in the immigration line because I'm running very late. However, as that pain in the butt Murphy would have it, I had no connecting flight, thus the process of going through immigration, collecting bags, clearing customs and leaving the airport was done in one hour. Typical!

We had a lot of luggage. Four checked bags ranging from smallest to largest, weighting 17kg, 21kg, 25.6kg and 31.7kg. Thank goodness for combining weight between bags!! Plus being ladies, we had a 'hangbag' each, plus a jacket, then a backpack each, I had my pillow and Erin had the Laptop bag. Needless to say we had a lot for two people to carry. But we made it!

Los Angeles was like landing back in Melbourne on an overcast but humid day. Seriously. Lots of cars, loud people and take out places. Even now the traffic going past is kinda heavy.

Erin is waiting for me to breakdown and cry. She won't accept the fact that I'm likely not to, not in the way she is expecting me to. I don't feel like crying because in the grand scheme of things, I'm not sad about leaving Australia. Partly because I've done it before (so in theory I'm good for the next 17 months!) and partly because I feel this is the best choice for me. As I said, I really haven't settled in the two years being back at home. Yes, there are a small group of people I will miss, but the world is a lot smaller than most people think it is. And with technology these days, its smaller still.

A Returning Argh?

The boxes have gone! Yep, the nine boxes just were piled into the truck and not to be seen until four months from now! It's kinda weird to think I'll be without that stuff for so long. You could do a personality guess by the stuff in there, it's a part of what makes me who I am! Someone would have some fun with that no doubt. All I need is for the ship to sink and some poor person like Tom Hanks be stranded on an island with it all. He he he, that would be kinda funny actually.

After all the hype of NaNo, I just made it to the halfway mark. People were right, I was insane to try and get 50k in the busiest month of my life. But I did get half way and that's something. I just found it so hard to sit and concerntrate on it. My mind was like going in ten different directions and unfortunately it wasn't the focus or distraction I was hoping it would be. However, there is always next year when things will be more settled. Oh my god I'll be married then.

Aside from that, I think all seems to be going okay. I'm not left with as much money as I had hoped, but my car is going to my brother which is nice and it's keeping her in the family. I have a road trip happebing on a budget. I'm going to be in Washington DC when Obama is sworn in which is friggin awesome, and I've a free trip to Canada to think about which is nice as well. Yay for frequent flyer miles.

Plans for London are still up in the air. I need to sit down and put some concrete plans in place to have somewhere to live when I arrive there. That's my main concern. Everything should hopefully fall into place after that. Fingers crossed. I feel okay about it all really. I just until I know what is what, I'm not sure what to feel.

Poor Erin has been dealing with all sorts of emotions, I've been a roller coaster at the best of times. Thank god for Lexapro! I dread to think what I'd be like without it. There's been enough going on to throw myself into but I'm having trouble sleeping at night and just really not sure what I want about little things. Like what to watch on TV or what to have for dinner. I can't focus on it. I feel like I am living in La-la land.

So yes, today is Wednesday. Just three full days and two part days to go until we get on the plane. Part of me wants it to come very quick, the other part not. I'm starting to think about all the little things I'll miss. But on a very general level I feel like I've done this before so in some way it makes it a whole lot easier to do.

OMG I have the TV on at the moment. Who has seen those "Talking Sex with Olivia"adverts?? What is up with that, seriously?! You can call them for a consultation now on 1300 50 50 70! OMG what is daytime TV coming to?

Anyways, the afternoon is pretty much free now. I have two phone calls to make (on is fixing an issue with my water company who are ringing me about the address I previously lived at!) and one is about lunch on Saturday. Mmmmm Soul Mamas, I have heard lots of good things about it so am looking forward to good food.

This morning I had to take the Kids on the Block puppets into Guide Centre. The poor things will be living in the shower by the sounds of it. It breaks my heart to see them go!! And to know that they'll sit idle for a while sucks even more!! Someone out there please help out! Those kids can't be left in the shower forever! not even for a month if it can be helped!

Argh!

So I think I am going insane. I feel like trying to sort the details out of the final things has been one issue after another. Really, I feel like every time I pick up the phone to either call or receive an incoming call, something is wrong. Argh!

Finally finally after six weeks Expedia/AA have refunded my money. Yep when I booked my flight, stupidly (despite all the amounts being quoted in AUD) I was charged in USD which was a lot more than I thought I was paying. As a result, they broke my credit card and even after saying I'd get my money and a cheque in two weeks, only now, six weeks later, do I get my money and it's less than I thought it would be because of the change in the exchange rate. Argh! However, at least its finally sorted.

Then comes the costs to move house. I was quoted one thing, and it was changed. Yep, I've ended up paying an extra $200 dollars more than I thought I would. Good grief! That and people want to try and charge you lots of money for things. Like Bigpond. I have to dish out $60 so that they'll close my account. What's that about? I'm poor before I even leave I tell you. Those out there reading this, don't do it, don't move OS unless you are a millionaire! Even the awesome exchange rate is against me. When we planned on doing this, our cool road trip, the dollar was buying 0.91 USD. Now it's down at 0.63. Wholly crap!!!

Hmmm....the moving people are here. I have to go, I'll be back . . .

Its Closer Now

Its hard to believe that it's all ready the middle of November, erring on the side of late November. Kind of. Or it will be before I know it. I had many plans for this month, lots to do, much more to achieve. NaNo has fallen by the wayside. I'm not sure how that happened. Oh I should correct that. I know exactly how that has happened. For starters, limited time. Next to that comes focus. I've had very little. I can't seem to hone in on those creative writing juices thus my piece Persona has been left, well, lonely. Maybe I need to change the perspective of it. Include some blog entries, lol. I'll keep going of course, but I doubt I'll make the big 50k in less than 13 days. I'll be pushing it. In order to do that I need to write . . .just over 3100 words a day. Oh yeah, sure! Like that's gonna happen! Unless I give up on sleep. Now that's an option.

Tonight is my third last night of Guides. Its sad. I like the kids a lot. But its also a bit of a releif as well. Monday nights are getting long. I've a 50 minute drive in one direction and a 40 minute one back. On top of the worst day of the week, well, you get my drift. In saying that though, I know I'll miss the interaction with the kids greatly. I'll need to sort that out when I get to the UK.

The weekend was busy. Dinner with Penny on Friday night. Saturday morning was the finishing touches to my 100 Women in Guiding article thingie. Then I drove to Geelong for an X-Files Marathon with Jess and Emma. Left there around 11:30am on Sunday, to come home and pack and sort and pack and eat. I"m trying to do this with a sore foot. Oh yeah, like that's helping! I think I'd rather a hole in my foot!

I'm back at the DTF and CLS. It's rather white and blue. The only thing missing is the hospital smell. On the surface things have changed, but all the same issues are there. You can interpret that any which way you want. And all I need to keep telling myself is that in two weeks, it won't be my problem any more. Still . . .

Crap, where'd October go?!

Everyone stop. Don't move and stay exactly where you are. No more letting the calendar days turn over. Just put the brakes on! I realised last night that I've only got about 40 days left in the country and that scared the living crap out of me. Lots to do. Though in saying that, some things are sorted. We've got new tenants coming into the unit. So that's cool. I picked up the moving boxes last night, so that's cool.

This weekend I'm going over to Tassie to see my grandparents, and perhaps it may very well be the last time I see my grandfather alive. Which scares me greatly. He's not well, hasn't been for some time but it seems he gets worse and worse every year. Its funny, my grandparents have always been there. Both of them. To have just one just doesn't feel right. Its really sad. The last time I went to the UK my grandfather said his goodbye to me then. If I am honest, I'm not really sure I can handle another right now. That's selfish I know.

I also have to try and see my dad and that side of the family before I go. That's something I feel I ought to do as opposed to something I want to do. In all honesty, they are strangers to me. I know them no better than my co-workers. In fact, I probably know my co-workers better.

NaNoWriMo starts on Saturday. Its going to be an exciting adventure, I've decided this is the missing case from the life of Agent Manchester. The case that brings her home. It's got a dark bad person in it. Titled Persona, it has promise to be somewhat dark and complex. And on the subject of NaNo stories, there's a chance In A Heartbeat (my 07 entry) could be published. It's a self publish job (ie not picked up by a company) but published none the less! Woohoo!

Slowly, Slowly

So anyways, things are starting to fall into place. Finally. I mean there still are n o concrete plans. But things are happening. I’ve found the company which will ship our items which is all very exciting and all for around $800 assuming we use all 12 boxes which I am doubting because we really don’t intend to take that much!

Next comes wedding plans. Again, while no firm booking has been put in place, we’ve found avenue we can afford, are happy with and will be kinda different. Its not ideal (is anything) but the closest we’ve come to so far. Hopefully we’ll make that booking in January. Six months in advance should be enough, right? In addition to that, the guest list is shaping up nicely. We’ve talking about posting Vs electronic invites. Still no thoughts on what we are to wear, but that can come closer to the day. For me I know that will come down to how much weight I can shift. I have an idea in mind, it’ll just be a case of seeing if I can fit into it!

Then there is Kids on the Block. While again there are no confirmed things in place, there is interest enough to have a possible hand over before we go. Which will be nice! Its not a complete weight off my mind, but it has indeed lightened the load.

As for the unit, we’ve had six inspections with two more lined up for tomorrow. Phew! I’m a bit over the strangers in my hone deal, but at the end of the day it’s all in our favour.

There are still other things on the list to sort out, however, it knocks over a fair few big ones even to have those small rays of light in place.

NaNo is fast approaching and in talking to some people it sounds like there are plots and everything in place. I feel kinda slack on that front. However, my character in my mind is starting to take a little more shape which is reassuring. A little.

I need to go figure out something for my car!

Observations

Its rather interesting to watch how things grow and change. I know of late I’ve not been happy with where I am working and the amount of work I’ve been doing. But the lack of it has allowed me to sit back and watch people. I almost feel like I am back at Pax Lodge where there was the world of the Snr Staff and the world of the HA’s. And sometimes they would collide. In this case it’s 452 and 412 the buildings. In contrast to 412, 452 is like stepping back in time to High School. It’s insane.

Also amusing. See, because of my fast approaching departure, I’m in the unique position of really not giving a damn any more and not really caring that I feel that way. To watch and witness the yelling and screaming (both physically and metaphorically) of others and their plight to keep things as they always have been, I’m in a position where I am able to see the changes happening and the direction they are going in.

This leads me into NaNoWriMo and my thoughts about that. I mean I have this creepy little dark person which has no cause or worth or rhyme or reason. At the moment I feel like I am looking at the world through some sort of special window. Like I can see things coming. And I’m wondering how I can use that. I’m also wondering how I’ll hit my word count this year! I’m also hoping to go to a few of the social events to meet a few more NaNo people. Not sure how successful that attempt will be, but the want and meaning is there.

Friday night I have Region Dinner. I’m both looking forward to it and dreading it. Last year was mighty painful and a little dull. I remember Region Dinners and Breakfasts of years past that were full of laughter and talk and friendship. Now days it seems like there are teams and sides and it’s all about politics. The friendliness has gone. While I’m wishing I could just stay home and relax, I know I’m sort of expected to go because this indeed will be the last Region event I will go to. I don’t know, it’s just sort of hard to feel enthusiastic about it.

Here Comes NaNo!

I have to admit to being slightly excited about NaNoWriMo this year. I mean there is all the normal excitement there as well, but also the sense of challenge I'm now putting myself towards because there is going to be a hell of a lot going on.

Other than my somewhat dark character making it'self know (genderless at this point) I don't seem to have a whole lot to work with. However, last year Cassandra in my piece In A Heartbeat, did exactly the same thing so I feel like it's okay not to be concerned. Still, I'd like to have a title before I start this year. Or at least one that sticks.

We'll see how it goes. Just 14 days to go!

Put Put

Just pottering along the road to a Nervous Breakdown. Okay, so its not that serious really. But I am feeling frazzled. The final strawer came when my car broke down just outside Port Campbell at like 8pm at night, again 20km later and having a tow truck arrive at 10:30pm. While in hindsight it certainly was an adventure, it was the last thing I needed. Three and a bit ours home in a tow truck is not fun let me tell you. However, finally, four days later, I'm gearing up to pick up my little baby this evening after work. Yay!

There is a lot going on. That's obvious. Slowly but surely I'm becoming more aware of things I will miss. Singing taps with the girls at Guides on Monday night had me kinda choking up. Though we have established the emotions are kind of frayed at the moment.

Working at E-Crime still kinda sucks, however in my moments of spare time have managed to possibly find a wedding reception venue, found a good price on a flight (just need to book it) and even found a shipping company which actually has a special on at the moment for shipping to the UK. Some things are looking rosy which is nice.

KOB is a nightmare in lots of ways. Had to cancel a show because of car issues and I'm now starting to fret that no one is coming to the training next weekend and as a result of that, I've not a clue who I am going to hand over the puppets to. Give me strength.

There are good things though, let me reassure you. The weather is getting nicer, I'm getting excited about my multiple trips in the US, plus Erin and I celebrated three years together back on the 14th. And alas, on the far horizon, there is a slight glimmer of hope for a third X-files movie, oh how wonderful that will be!! Argh! AND Gillian Anderson will be ina play next May in London and I am so there! Woohoo!!

Bizzard, Very, Very Bizzard

How so? Simply I couldn't think of a title to "blog about' so I just thought of any word and that's the one that came to mine, thanks Pen. Lol. To be honest I don't really have a lot to purposefully say, I just sort of want to ramble and I don't know why. This is why after a while a physical journal fails to work for me. I can type much quicker than I can write and I always feel to use the ink and the paper, I should write something worth saying. Not that I am saying what I have to say isn't worth saying. It's just well, not quite.

Thankfully it's Friday. The thoughts in my head right now are whining. Its only been a week, it terrifying to think I still have three more to go. My mind is also sort of all over the place about a lot of things. Time is ticking by. I think I could be talking in about ten different directions if I were verbalising all of this.

You see, recently I came off my anti-depressant. Which isn't a big issue, it was half a tablet and working on methods to balance my moods. It took a long time to be able to admit that I took them and a long time for me to understand depression itself. First of all that there are varying degrees and ways in which is can impact on a person's life. I for one have been better off for the knowledge I gained and the help that half a little white pill has given me.

However, I don't want to be popping pills the rest of my life regardless of how small it is! The thing I actually wanted to say was that I was so sure I could handle things on my own, and frankly I am. Its just I notice the different in how I handle things. Its a this point that I bring those methods of control into play, those coping mechanisms. Its actually quite nice to be able to take control. But in coming off that little while pill, I'm actually aware of just how much of a difference it made. So it's really kind of fascinating really. Okay, maybe that's a little twisted for some of you. But human behaviour is exactly that!

I'm trying to figure out how to explain it. Okay, think radios. You have an old style manual tuning radio. You get fed up with it. So you upgrade to a new, auto tuning one. Perfect. Clears the static, makes life easier. But after a while you come to understand that you would always tune the old manual one, you just lost touch. So you go back to it. Takes a while to clear the static away, but you certainly can do it.

I think that's the best I can do.

Moving on, aside from the above which I had not an intention of talking about, life is busy. I'm in a temp role in another building which I'd rather be doing without, but oh wells. Guides is keeping me busy. The unit is growing nicely. International is sort of pushed to the side at the moment because Kids on the Block has sort of taken precedent considering the time frame I'm now on to have a hand over. We also have a training day coming up. The gym has fallen by the wayside to make room for Nancy's visit and preparing for the onset of moving. Once she leaves it's all systems go for packing up the house. Or beginning to. Then there are trying to pin down some plans for the wedding. Good grief!

My brother has moved back to Melbourne and is living with mum. I'm not sure what to feel about that and I'm not so sure it was a wise move. However, I could be proven wrong. I just hope it all works out for him is all. He's a good kid. Well, young man now I suppose!

Of late I've been thinking about the person I was and the person I am and the person I am aiming to become. There's always room for growing. But its kind of hard when two of those three merge into being. There are patterns of the old Rachael starting to return. Starting to panic and be scared. Starting to want things that I cannot have. Worst of all, starting to question everything that is.

Just another day in the life of Rachael! Man, one day I'm gonna write a book about it all.

Just 21 days until NaNoWriMo 2008 begins. Bring it on!

Monday It is (ITIS!!!)

You know I really do not want to be here. But not in the usual way. Right now I'd be more than happy to be at my desk back at 412. I'm left wondering if I'll be able to hack the slowness of this place. There is like, nothing to do. Seriously. I'm at the mercy of updating the admin folder and I can tell you now I am ever so glad that I dragged it along to work on, Oh my GOSH!!

The weekend was nice. Not long enough as always and having daylight savings start didn't really help. However, found a house I really, really like! Not that I'm looking for a house at the moment. Its just that Nancy wanted to go and see some display homes so I took her out to Caroline Springs while Erin was at work. Anyways, found a home by Porter Davis that I liked a lot. More than any of the others there and we looked at like 16 or some crazy number like that! Anyways, it struck me how modern and ugly homes have become these days. That and how huge they are. I mean seriously, do people really need that much space to live in? And come on, there was like at least three lounge/living areas in each!! Darn scary it was.

Friday I bought myself a journal. I assumed that soon enough I'll need it and there's not always a chance I'll get to my blog. That and not everything I think or feel should be expressed in such a public place. Some things I do wish to remain entirely my own thoughts.

My other excitement/time taker-upper which will start soon is NaNoWriMo, no longer am I a virgin! Phew! I think it's going to be a crazy month and initially I'd hoped to blow 50,000 to high heaven, however in reality I'll be happy enough just to hit 50,000 in the first place!! So far no major ideas have made themselves known. I'm not too concerned yet as I came up with In A Heartbeat just days before it started. This year all I have is a genderless person in a dark room who seems to pick at their skin a lot. Kinda nasty if you ask me. Ewww.

Suddenly its October!

There's an obvious opening. Just in case you'd not noticed the date at the start of this post. A lot of things are going on in my mind at the moment. Some good, some bad and some pretty neutral. Which is always a good thing.

It's now two months and four days until I leave Australia. It all sounds so final. For a time I was okay with that and I still am, it just feels like all of a sudden it's become even more final. I'm not sure it's a feeling I can put into words. But its more looming now. There's lots to do, but lots to not do because I have to wait for things to be done!!

Nancy arrived well and safe, and with her came the return of the Erin I've tried so hard to live without. That sounds horrid, it's not meant to be. But Erin can be very childlike at times, and being around her mother brings that out in her. There are moments where I just want to scream "For God's Sake she's 23 years old not 10!!". But alas I cannot. Simply because they have a somewhat unique relationship to any I have with anyone else. So it has been trying at times. Aside from that, we've had a pretty full on time. There was an evening along Southbank, then there was the Royal Melbourne Show and then an AFL Grand Final BBQ in a real life aussie back yard, and then we hit the road for four days to go up to Canberra. We had some simply stunning weather I have to admit.

What struck me driving along the road was a sense of self, but not centred on me, rather on Australia. There is something nice about driving along for hours on end on a straight road with lots of "Australian-ness" around you. Its hard to explain. The landscape is amazing and somewhat unique to anything I've seen before. A part of me would like to one day take the time to drive around Australia, armed with nothing more than clothes, food and a camera. I think it would be kind of cool. I guess I developed an appreciation of the place. And laughed at a few names along the way.

I've started working at e-Crime for a month, something that was pushed onto me with short notice (in true Vic Pol style) and while its slow and boring and different, and despite the fact poor Jade is left holding the fort at DTF and CLS, I can't help but want to be back there. Back at my desk, doing my work and being around things I know. It's rather odd here. I'd like to note that for amusement factor, I've discovered the mess room has bookshelves in there with all sorts of books on computers and their programs. It's amusing, I'm at Geek central and these guys seem to pretty proud of that. I feel out of my depth. I felt stupid asking how to turn the computer on this morning because it wouldn't work for me!! Alas, most normal users would have had an issue too. So I don't feel too bad.

Oi, give me strength!

Friday

Just to point out the obvious, you know. As I'm good at that. Thankfully it's the end of the week. Just a half day at work followed by a 3 hour International meeting. Then interviews for International tomorrow then a puppet show in the evening in Ballarat, cleaning on Sunday, Nancy arrives Monday!! It's gonna be busy. Crazy busy. But good. Hopefully.

Have been updating my Pax Blog, the one I am posting up old e-mails. Its pretty hard to figure out what to put and when and what to leave out. I mean there are some parts of e-mails which should remain unsaid and only known between sender and recipient. But I find it interesting to see what was going through my mind. Hilarious even.

I'm bored. I think I should do some work! What there is of it.

Tuesday Child . . . was it full of Grace?

Just for something different I thought I would write when I had nothing to complain about. Well I am sure if I really think about it I could complain. But generally speaking I'm feeling upbeat which certainly is a turn up for the books. I think that its got a lot to do with Fluid Retention. Okay so that's something maybe you didn't need to know about, but I went and got some pills to help it because I was finding my hands were swelling up something shocking and I was getting tummy cramps and yeah . . . anyways, I think it's working. I even feel up to going and doing the stairs again. Though admittedly I did not do all 12 floors today, just 8 of them. Phew!

Nancy arrive in less than a week, its all very exciting! There is lots going on and lots to show her and lots to get her to taste. It'll be really cool. The first week and a bit is pretty busy, in face the times not at work are busy! Fingers crossed this trip (she was last here in August) will have much better weather and if days of late are anything to go by, then it should be.

Guides. What can I say about Guides? It tired me out last night. Really, it did. Made me feel old. But I suddenly realised I have but 8 nights left. That's it. just 8 nights because there are two weeks of school holidays and a Monday without Guides because of the Melbourne Cup. Wholly crap that's scary. And sad. Because I like the kids, they're great and we've just got an influx of new girls and it's brought a new life into the group.

Well, I'm out of water and thirsty, so I should go and top up I suppose. Not that I am sure where the nearest water cooler is. The refurb on this floor has sent everything in a million different directions. I could endless complain about that, but I won't. Rather I'll just focus on the fact the floor will be a hell of a lot better at the end of it all!

Wedding Plans

How hard is it to keep people happy?!! Okay, that sounds a lot worse than it actually is. We've been engaged for about a month or so now, maybe more. We've talked about a two week time frame and the city in which we are to wed -or the legal equivalent in London. Beyond that, we know it will be an outdoor evening reception, simple, a little formal, but relaxed.

There will be a legal ceremony, no doubt at a registry office somewhere. There will be food. We even talked about clothing. I do not wish to have a white dress, but I'm not against the idea of a dress. Or a fitted suit. Unsure. I guess that will depend on my body shape as the date draws near!

However, it seems people want more details. More, More, MORE!! Like, what exact date? A definite location. What sort of wedding gifts do we want? What will we need? Oh my gosh!!! People, calm down! I thank you for your enthusiasm I really do, but until I get to London and can figure a few things out, there aren't going to be confirmed details!!

Oh, and we want happy flowers. Oh and not traditional fruit cake with think icing. No thanks!

There isn't even talk of a honeymoon, goodness me! How will we survive! We plan to have invitations, we plan to design our own and have them printed while in the USA over Christmas, New Year and into Feb. That way we can send the same invite to everyone, make it personal and hopefully keep people happy!

I sound so ungrateful. I am not, honest, in fact I'm actually rather flattered that people care so much. Its a new experience, believe me! I just . . . I don't know, I can't give people the answers they want right now and there is no sign of being able to to that any time soon.

Culture, yup that's what its about!

The weekend has made me think about a few things. One of my issues comes down to culture. For the longest time I felt like I was being a snob. Like I felt so much better than everyone else and I hated that feeling. The Australian Culture has a core of mateship. Yes, I love that. But coating that core is the layer which creates the unspoken law that to go out and have a good time, you need to go to a pub and get pissed. That I do not like. Its all about pubs and clubs. About how much you can drink and who you can snog.

I hate it. I want so much more than that, but the quest to find it has become futile. The few friends I did have who were not into that, have vanished off into their own lives. I almost feel like a stranded island. I understand so much more now why I found it hard to make friends in high school. Like good friends. Genuine friends. Friends with whom you say more than a passing hello to. You know their life. They know yours, and yet its not invasive. For the longest time I thought I had that, I thought I was as happy as I could be. But soon I saw different.

People ask me why I am leaving Australia? Why leave behind an awesome country? Deep down I don't feel that it is all that awesome. And perhaps it comes down to culture. The Australian Culture is not my culture. Its not what I want. Its not who I am. I don't want to settle for boganism. I want to pronounce words correctly, not be excited by the fact that Kmart and Safeway are in multiple states. I don't want a life that's about drinking on a Friday night, about being plastered or paralytic.

I am only partly Australian. Some things I am proud of, others I am not.

Spring

At last it is here! Not that it much matters really. As I sit here at my desk, the most I can still see are walls and desks and doors. I suppose it means I can let my imagination run a little wild and now picture sunlight outside. Which makes a nice change.

The refurb has started at work. I feel like there are people everywhere. Boxes in places that they shouldn't be, items that should be somewhere, but aren't. Trolleys and walls and dust and thuds and noise. I am sure once it is all done and completed it'll look nice. In the interum, it means we get to see the change over as it occurs. Or something like that. All I know is that its going to be bloody insane while this all goes on. Goodness me.

Its moments like this I am glad of the little SOAR reunion on Friday. Yep five nights in Sydney to catch up with Lauren, Carolyn and Kacey. It's gonna be good fun! It's been seven years since SOAR and lots has been going on and changed and yeah, it'll be good. I actually need to figure out how I will get out to the hotel, and I also need to call Kacey. I need to make a list!

OMG!!! OCD! OCD!! Quick, where is the CPS group?!

Blah

Is how I feel right now. Starting day 5 of being completely out of action with something that started as a sinus infection which I now think has become a chest infection. It's horrible. When I breathe I sound like a old person with emphasaemia. It's just horrid. I feel like crap. Pretty much, that's it. Crap. Arghh!! I'm supposed to be going to Sydney on Friday. I have to get better!!

It's now official. There are less than 100 days left until we leave Australia. Its rather exciting. We're getting our plans together for three months in the US, mainly the big road trip from LA to Richmond, KY. It's all rather exciting. I then need to start getting things together to start applying for jobs in London. I estimate the Pax OA position comes up in March assuming the person in the current role doesn't stay on. I'd like to apply for that. But I also want to apply for Scotland Yard or The Met in an admin role. Ideally Pax would work. It would give me 12 months of income without to much out going costs which certainly is a very good thing! Alas in saying that, I don't just assume I would get it. Because I know it's a big world out there.

But yes, things are happening.

Today being the 1st of September I should be starting Spring into Summer at the gym. Somehow I can't see that taking off at great speed for me right now!! Not the way I feel. . .

Resignation

That's it! I did! It's done!! The letter of Resignation from Victoria Police is now handed in and making it's way through the chair of command like a row of dominoes falling one by one. Okay, perhaps not that drastic and not that amusing. Still, it's moving. I cannot tell you how nice yet weird this feeling is. It's going to end! Oh joy! I'll leave this work place's woes for that of another, but there will be a three month holiday in there! Woot Woot! However, it also makes things a lot more final. I've got just over three months to get finances in line, book a ticket, find a mover, sort out my last week (this will be vital to helping things run smooth) and a whole bunch of other things that right now are just clogging up the thought processed.

And I still want to do NaNoWriMo in there?! I keep telling myself it'll be a good focus, but I don't know. Maybe I'm just being insane!

I was talking to a good, old, almost lost friend. It's complicated. There is a history there. Good and bad and some self inflicted and some not. Anyways, we were talking about marriage (which I am embarking on, oh my gosh!) and kids and a few other serious things as one does when one reaches their mid 20's. And well, I want to go back to the kids idea and pose a question:

Does it really matter if there parents of each gender, parents of one gender or simply one parent?

Many years ago, the belief was that stable kids came from a stable home life with mum and dad. However, society has changed so much, the structure of family has changed so much that perhaps that ideal family isn't so much needed any more. A lot of people will argue that kids screwed up the most have come from split families or families of same gender persons in the parental role.

Having come from a split family myself, having known people who have had same gender parents and knowing people from that ideal family, I'd have to say that the most screwed up tend to be from the ideal family! I turned out quite well! And I mean, I dunno, would the concept of same gender parents be a problem? I mean as long as the child is loved and can source either female or male role models from other places (ie aunts. uncles, family friends etc) . . . I just, I can't personally see what the big deal is. I know people who would kill for a loving family, to have been better looked after as a child . . . and I know people who were given everything they could have wanted from that "ideal family" yet have turned out to be the most horrid and selfish people I know. So what gives?

That's my rant for the moment. And even then it's not a rant. Just a thought process I guess. Not that I am having kids any time soon either! Don't go getting the wrong idea! It was just something to think about that's all.

Oi -back to work. Back to archiving. Back to the cave.

Reflection

Canberra was cold. But then, that's Canberra! It even snowed which I have to admit I was pretty impressed by. It was a weekend of spending money, alcohol, drugs, sleeping, eating and driving. Well for most anyways! I was minus a few of those things (mainly drugs I might proudly add). What I did realise though is that I'm very happy with my life. I may lead a simple one and not party a lot nor have the best or first of everything, but I am happy. I am not trying to replace being lonely with monetary items.

Now I am back at work, back to the slog. Thats okay. I keep telling myself there are merely months to go and that's that. Being the start of August means no greencard, but also means plans are now conrete to go ahead and move to London. Which is exciting, I have to admit. Plus there is a wedding to plan for (as big or as small as we wish!) and well, just general excitement about being back in that part of the world.

Before then, Nancy will come. Before that I will be in Sydney for the mini SOAR reunion. And before that, I'll be in Bendigo for Zoe's wedding party. It's all happening, I tell you!

Seriousness

I looked at myself this morning before leaving for work and found myself looking at someone I didn't know. Not because I was a stranger and doing things I never thought were a part of my personality, but rather because I genuinely feel happy. I'm at a place I didn't see myself being at, certainly not now.

Erin and I are engaged. We will marry in the English summer of 2009 in London. There are still lots of plans to make, but most of those will have to wait until February or March to begin to be looked at. Its rather exciting I have to admit. I smile lots and people are very happy. Well, most anyways. I feel the people located furthest from me aer most happiest. I don't know, maybe I'd lost touch with life here a lot more than I thought I had. Not that it concerns me any, I'll be leaving soon and I have to tell you that's pretty awesome.

I'm highly surprised August is here. I'm not sure what happened to July. I know it felt like Maggie was here fleetingly (it was a whole month!) and I know that XF2 was released . . . but it can't be August all ready, can it? I mean winter will be over before you know it. Soon, Nancy will be here. Soon we will move. Soon I will leave for good. All in the space of months. In four months in fact. Four months and two days to be exact. And if July went by so quickly, well you get my drift.

Comfy Viewing

Have you ever been to see a movie in Gold Class? I now have! And talk about nice! Oh man! Nice, big reclining chairs which are big and puffy and comfy. And then the food. And the coffee which comes out towards the end of the movie . . . oh man!! I went for a second viewing of I Want To Believe last night and much enjoyed it. Because of the comfort but also because this time round I wasn't all hyped up and was able to focus a little more. Which was nice because I got to see all the things I missed the first time round.

All ready there is speculation for a third movie. Who knows, maybe that time round I'll be in London for the premier :-)

Maggie goes home tomorrow. I can't believe it! How fast has this month gone? Its almost like since we went up to Sydney that time has zoomed and now it's like almost all over. Insane! Its going to be weird not having her around, but nice as well. Not that's its been horrible having her here, not at all! But I guess having someone around makes you realise how much of a routine you have. And I was always bought up to believe you look after you guest as best as possible. So it's almost like a month of being on duty even though that wasn't expected of me! It's just a programmed thing I have happening!

The big news is that Sally has decided to quit from Pax Lodge. I have to admit, I saw it coming, just not so suddenly that's all. Should I go back and work there next year it will be just Grace and Heather there that I will know. Which is good because I really want to go back with a different perscpective in mind. I will approach it much differently and look forward to meeting a whole bunch of new people too. Anyways, that's all dependant on the "if" factor.

This weekend will be screening number 3 of IWTB and the weekend after that will be House Warming weeking with Lou up in Canberra! Yay!

Work to Rest

Its been a pretty full on weekend, some 10 hours of driving or perhaps even more! This is Maggie's las weekend in Australia so we jumped in the car on Saturday Morning and drove the length of the Great Ocean Road to the 12 Apostles. Then all the way back. It was pretty good and for the most part we were really lucky with the rain, it only seemed to pour down on the times we were driving between stops. What more could you ask for?!

On Sunday we decided to go down to Phillip Island and said the Penguin Parade which was pretty awesome. Kinda cold and not as many penguins as there is in the summer, but great none the less. I got a pal for Squeak, Squee is his name and he is very cute.

I'm trying to decide if I want to start putting up photos with my posts. Like one photo a post or something. I'm not sure, but maybe make a habit of it more so than not? Something additional to do I suppose, and sometimes a scene is easier to express in visuals rather than words.

Something is up with my body at the moment. Its just not happy about anything.

I Want To Believe -and Have!

So I had intended to write yesterday in the lead up to, the big anticipation of finally going to see XF2. It just didn't happen. For a few reasons, one was that I was jumpy and all over the place and the day simply didn't go quick enough. And also because I had work to do. And I may have had a glance at the LA Premier online for a while . . .

. . . Alas all has been revealed! Sort of. In true X-Files tradition there are questions left unanswered, but not as many as their could have been. Overall the movie has sort of left me half half in the sense that I wasn't expecting what I saw. It was both reassuring and different. Like going home to family and friends after a long time away. It was odd. But all very good!

It was nice to see that the corny humour and one liners were still around, still nice to see old faces and also quite nice to have Mark Snow back creating that creepy kinda atmosphere. For the most part its what long time fans wanted, but also a new spin on things, just enough to pull in a new fan base some 10 years since the show started. It may even be more now, who knows.

However, what I wasn't expect was such a strong story line on the whole priest pedophile thing. Is it any wonder the movie has had like no PR in the lead up to the release, especially since Worth Youth Day was last week and that very subject was one discussed with the Pope.

My overall rating. I'd say about a 9 or a 9.5 out of 10. It's nice to have fresh material, even if it isn't new ground :-) And yay for the shippy moments too!

Being Back

Talk about difference in weather. Sydney was glorious. Melbroune is drab. Ha! But it is nice to be "home" as such, be back in my own house with my own bed and my own things and my own shower, toilet, kitchen and my car! Oh how I missed and worried about my car! Alas, I was quite happy when I get back to the airport carpark and found her still sitting there. December will be gut wrenching for me!

So. Sydney. We saw lots, ate lots and saw lots and lots and lots of people! Oh we even took a day trip out to the Blue Mountains which was better than I feared, though the driver left a lot to be desired for. Not that his driving was bad, rather I just wish he hadn't spoke so much and tried not to be so "Okka Aussie". Drove me mad after a while. Very soon. The highlight of that day was the evening. We missed the ferry we were supposed to get, however, it got us back into the Harbour after dark and it was so totally worth it! It was stunning to see the city all lit up and go under the bridge and yeah, awesome.

Now it's back to the real world. Back to work and guides and laundry and bills. Sighs. Oh wells, as Ned Kelly said, Such is Life, or at least I think it was he who said it. . .

World Youth Day

Oh my gosh, it's so insane! I'm in Sydney at the moment with Erin and Maggie playing tourists. And well on my part the planning was bad. There are people all over the place. Seriously. Packed. But for their luck and ours, the weather has been simply glorious, in fact, I even caught a little sun today.

We went all around the place. First to the Opera House, then walked across the Sydney Harbour Bridge. From there was a ferry from the North Shore round to Darling harbour for lunch, then on the Monorail to Hyde Park, the Australia Musuem and then back to where we are staying for yet another night in. That's going to do my head in. In saying that, it's been fun.

Fickle -The Word of the Day

I've decided if I were to turn into a word, it would be Fickle because right now that's what I feel surging through my body. Fickle. Or Fickleness, if that's even a word. Lots is Fickle right now. Lots is changing which makes things even more Fickle. Or it feels like lots is changing, thus I guess lots will become Fickle. I highly doubt that is making any sense to anyone other than myself and even then I'm not sure that it makes sense, as such.

Let's start over.

I'm in an odd mood today. Or was. Then I just got really made again, and decided I'm back to really badly wanting to quit my job. I really badly can feel that I'm now no longer getting anything out of this and am feeling of no use to anyone. More than anything I am so over being treated like a piece of poop and being on the receiving end of frustrations simply because I am the lowly admin person. My new side kick seemed as appalled as I was about it. I told her it's all a part of our role. Not to take those things personally, even if they are point blankly directed at us. Needless to say she's said no more about the matter. I so hate this job. I really do.

Relationships are also a fickle thing. Friendships, romances, accquaintances. I'm telling I feel like Bass Straight has suddenly overflowed and is whole heartedly intending to drown me. Gosh darn it! I want life to be simple again!

Maggie is over at the moment so we've been busy playing host, working, guiding gyming and just trying to sleep every once in a while. Having a guest in the house suddenly points out just how routine and home body like we are. In saying that, I don't imply we are a pair of recluses. Just set in our ways that's all. And it's really sort of boring to an outside person no doubt!

I just . . . I don't know. Sometimes I feel like a stranger in my own life. It's almost like I leap out of my body and suddenly find myself questioning if this is who I am and if I'm leading my life in the right direction. I should imagine a lot of people find themselves asking the same thing. But still, it doesn't make the though any less alarming. I assumed I was doing what I wanted to do. Though right now I feel like I am stuck in a bogg, can see the distant shore but also know I am getting no closer to it. What the hell is that about?!

There is a nice new shining ring on my finger. It's a rather odd thing to wear. I don't say that in a bad way. But it feels different to how I thought it would feel, not that I could describe how I thought it would feel in the first place. Not that I've ever thought of straying, I have very stong feelings about that. But it's almost like now I totally can't. Not that I want to! It's odd. I am looking at things in a very odd way today. Maybe there was something in my tea. Or maybe it was the stale cornflakes, I do not know.

Have to admit I am both excited about and dreading the arrival of Thursday. Sydney. Normally it would be fine, but the more and more I read about World Youth Day, the more nervous I become. I can't believe of all weekends I choose for us to fly up there, that's the one. Good grief.

Mmmm Ice -Cream

I totally want ice-cream right now! I think some real good, rich chocolate would do the trick!

It's been a busy few days. Maggie has arrived, I've eaten out like a heap of times (tends to be that case around birthdays) and well, there's work and we're a KOB show tomorrow and it's all just sort of crazy. But not totally crazy. I've also been trying to cram in the gym which has fallen by the way side in rescent times which is a bad thing.

Winter is in full force in Melbourne now. Shouldn't have expected much less really, but its cold and blustery and rainy and the fog has been quite hilarious in some respects because its been hiding a lot of the buildings in the city.

It's just over a week before XF2 premiers. Totally pumped for that! I tried to win a midnight screening tickets but failed dismally. So I'll head out to see it on the 24th like everyone else. But it's almost here!!

Yummy Morning

Happy Birthday to me!!

Have you ever noticed how much better a Grande Caramel Macchiato and chocolate crossant taste on your special day?? I have, yum yum!

I have the Wicked soundtrack, it's so brilliant and all I've been singing of late.

July beings the mid 20s

First and most pertanent of questions floats from your mouth. How was the Opera? Well let me put it this way. I left after the first act. About 45 minutes in and I'd had enough so I bid farewell to Erin and Maggie and left for the freedom of the street. Goodness me! Remind me never to try attempt Opera again. I'm sure it's only really mild and I'm sure that the show maybe got better, but I can't deal with people singing at me like that! And no it's not like a musical! Those are fun! Those you can understand, those don't recite the same lines over and over again! But in saying that, it was an experience and I can now say I've seen live Opera, even if it is only a little bit.

This week brings me face to face with an age crisis. I'm entering my mid 20s. I'm leaving my early 20s behind (which have been really great years I might add) and am entering the settling phase of my life. Apparently. Anyways, it promises to be a busy week with dinner and gym and guides and sight seeing and yeah, busy. I don't feel like it's near my birthday in the same way I usually do. Maybe that's a side effect of getting older. Who knows. Not that I am ancient yet mind you.

I Want To Believe premiers so very soon! In like 17 days! It's rather exciting I have to admit, I'm very much looking forward to seeing it. Which reminds me, I really need to go put Triple M on to listen, they're giving away preview tickets for a midnight screening. Must go!

Mixed Emotions

They're such complicated things, emotions. You can feel any number of them at once and it's like different parts of you are split into different segments and are arguing with themselves. I guess that's what it feels like to have multiple personalities, only I'm not sure the person is aware that they have multiple personalities.

Anyways, here's a run down of it all. Firstly, and foremost, I'm excited. Maggie arrives tomorrow morning. July has arrived ever so quickly! So there will be lots to do and see and Erin will be very happy for some time because she'll have a little slice of home here and I know its going to make her smile unlike she's smiled in a long time. But on the flip side to that, I know that when Maggie goes she's going to be all sad and depressed and really homesick. So that in turn makes me feel bad. It's such a bittersweet situation.

Next in line comes guilt. And well, for a lot of reasons. Mainly because we're have the first screw up of KOB shows and even though its not my fault, I still feel bad. Way back in May for the Guides Vic AGM we talked to a group of people about coming and performing for what I assuming is like a school holiday program, but only for a day. Because it was a work day, it would require us taking time off work. At that stage they were unsure if we were going to be suited. We were told they'd get back to us and let us know and I remember saying let us know ASAP so that we can arrange to get that day off work. Handed over some flyers and left it at that. Monday I get a phone call making sure we're still able to come on next Tuesday. Well of course I freak out over that, said that we had never confirmed that date and the caller said we had. I told them I'd see what I could do. So bottom line is we can't do that date as Erin can't get the day off work. She also agrees that we never confirmed the date and that someone was going to call us about it. So yeah, I feel bad about the whole thing because they now need to scramble to find something to fill in that time, but on the same token I know it's not my fault. Though I do feel bad. That's just me.

I'm also feeling a little guilty about moving OS. Not for anyone here, rather for Erin. Its going to mean that for a while we may have to have some time apart again. I'm not happy with that arrangement and neither is she, but there's not a lot we can do about it. She's just so scared about it and I think I'm mentally starting (even now) to prepare myself for that parting again, but she refuses point blank to even think about it. But knowing the sort of planning involved in this, it's something we need to think about now to make preparations. It's so hard.

Then comes the exhaustion. I do simply just feel tired all the time. Like I"m constantly on the go. Work is busy. Guides seems to be becoming more and more a burden and Kids on the Block is sort of stagnent in a busy kind of way. I'm trying to cram the gym in there, and when I don't get there, feel guitly about that as well.

Stressing about money. About family. About friends. About the future.

Classic candidate for a nervous breakdown, what do you think?! Lol, it's not that bad, its really just a whole bunch of stuff having a party in my head. It just all gets a bit too much sometimes and I can't turn the music down. I'm sure it'll all pan out fine.

The Marriage of Figaro is on Saturday night. I've never been to Opera before. Gosh I hope I like it!

A WICKED Night

Finally the night to see Wicked arrived! And oh my GOSH!! It was totally wonderful and beat the expectations I had for it, simply it blew me away and soooo worth the wait.

It was a nice night, Dinner at Wagamamas, then a stop for Trampoline ice-cream (ohhh so yummy) then a cup of Starbucks and then to the theatre. I've never been to Regents Theatre before and inside was simply beautiful, such detail and grace and just -wow. Anyways, I wanted an Ozmopolitan (basically a green cocktail and in a green glowing glass, very cool!) but waited until interval because Erin said I should. So I did. But I was very excitable.

Bought a copy of the Programme and was happily reading away and I discovered that the Lead for Elphaba was actually one of the original cast members for We Will Rock You in London, how awesome is that?!! Anyways, we ended up with the understudy for Elphaba as I guess the first night would have been the lead. Anyways, she was brilliant. Just incredible and talented and amazing. The whole cast was. The whole show was.

Better still for the most part if kept relatively close to the book which is great. Yeah, wow, fantastic, so worth waiting like nearly two years to see it. In addition to that, I came to realise just how much I miss going to the Theatre. I really do. It almost reduced me to tears. Its an incredible thing. I miss Theatre, and I miss going often, but its just so expensive here!