Making Choices

Yes, now that's an original title, no? I am sure somewhere along the line going back over the years there will be a blog post somewhere titled the same thing. Are we seeing a pattern here? Though I suppose techincally we make choices every day of our life. From what to have to breakfast right down to what PJs to wear at night. Assuming you wear PJs that is. I was just trying to be broad in my thinking.

There have been a lot of choices in life to make. All of which no doubt have helped me to reach this point in time, yet again faced with choices. Right at this moment I am debating to have corn chips or chocolate. I'm feeling a little ill at the moment, so I am thinking corn chips might be the better answer. Well I suppose they're tortilla chips. I'm not sure why, but the word tortilla reminds me of Maggie. I wonder what is happening in Southbend at this very point in time?

I feel like I should be writing Christmas cards. Would you believe I picked up the box like two weeks ago now and still not a single card has been written. How slack of me. With Royal Mail still playing catch up with all the post from the strikes, I'm pretty sure I should do something about them this weekend. Among other things. That's assuming I can afford the postage! The one draw back about having friends and family right across the world, postage can be a killer! Especially at Christmas. Memo to self, next year put a few pounds a month away for a Christmas Postage fund. Hmmm, I should get me a tin for that. Wait, I think I have one in the last box I've still to unpack. Its offical, that box has been sealed for 12 months. Its like a little mini time capsule! Ha! I wonder what I packed in there . . . actually I could probably guess, more stuffed animals no doubt!

In case you were wondering, I had egg fried rice this evening. With soya sauce. It was yummy. And warm, which is always a bonus on a cold night. Which it is. I'm thinking I might turn the heat up a little, I feel a little shivery. But then again, I don't feel well in general, I have a migrane on top of everything else. Looking at a screen really isn't going to help that, but I figure soon enough it'll be painful enough to make me just turn off the laptop and go to bed. Its beyond pain killer point, but not quite at black out point. I've not had one for some time, so I suppose I shouldn't complain.

Croydon is very pretty at the moment, all the lights are up and there is a cool looking market type of thing set up for Christmas on the North End. Each stall is like a hut, some have beads up, some have fake snow, some have pine spriggs. Its all rather atmospheric. That and I've started to notice the salt on the ground. Now that I've been to Minnesota in winter, the concept of snow doesn't excite me as much as it once did, only because I've seen it in large amounts now and anything less will be much less impressive. However, in saying that, I'm sure when the timem comes I'll want to go out and play in it. I can't help the inner child, it's quite pushy at times.

To Hell With That

Yes, that's what I want to say, though I have to admit it might not be entirely wise to declare why right here where the world can see. But some of you might just figure it out, knowing what was going on this week. Last week. Almost all weeks for some time now. The New Year is coming, so who knows what new adventures might await me.

Its really cold tonight. I lost the feeling in my fingers walking home. Memo to self, start using your gloves! Its that horrid cold, damp feeling. A lot of the cars have been getting a heavy frost on them of late too. I'm waiting for the ice which will send me ass up walking to work. While I know it'll hurt and won't be funny at the time, I'm sure I'll reach a point where I'll thnk it would have been amusing to see me fall. I do that. Some of you know that. I have a twisted sense of humour.

Strange things happen in the Festive Season. People start to get social. I am getting social. Shock horror! And meeting people not previously met before. I blame NaNo, that started it. Hmmm that was random. I don't even know where I was going with that one. I'm supposed to be putting up Christmas stuff at the moment. Got to be honest, I don't feel motivated to do so. I don't feel like being all Merry like. I think it's slowly been drained from me since the decos started appearing in October. I knew this was going to happen.

What to look forward to this weekend? Deep cleaning!! Actually, we're having a somewhat low key Christmas Shindig on Saturday after work. That'll be fun, though the concept of drinking games has always scared me somewhat. People say stupid things when they've had a bit too much to drink. And there's always a photo which shows up too. But Sunday, yes Sunday I have to clean and re-arrange the flat. Made a horrid discovery on Wednesday morning. The wall was wet and I found the startings of mould behind my bed. Ekkk! I know it's only arrived since two weeks back, that was when I last moved it. Totally want to avoid that again.

Mmmm something smells good, I think dinner is nearly ready. Bout time really, I'm famished. Might curl up on my couch with a blanket, dinner and some quality Nanny time. Yes, mindless TV shows, they rock my world.

Cutting It Fine

I always hope that I'll be able to post at least once a month. I like to be able to look at my blog and see one entry under the heading of each month. However, that doesn't always happen and so when I check in, I always feel somewhat responsible for the abandoned state it's in. *sighs* I guess some things will never change. Of all the good intentions I have . . .

Time since I last wrote has flown by. A lot has gone on, some changes have come about. The most obvious one is in the physical sense, it's now a whole lot colder and wetter! Seriously, its a very strange world out there first thing in the morning. I enjoyed the changing colours of leaves and how starkly stunning it looks here when the sun is out and the air is cold. And now, everything gets damp. I hate it. I do, because nothing seems to dry. Oh and I do have to share the funny letter I got from my real estate agent last week. It basically summed up what was to come in the next month or so, talking about freezing pipes and keeping buildings at a certain temperature to avoid problems like mould and well, freezing pipes. I'm from Australia for God sakes, what the hell are the implications for freezing pipes?! Okay, so I'm not that dumb, I can actually figure it out. But the concept of the letter just amused me greatly. I did in fact laugh out loud at it.

Keeping my busy this past month, the one that has flown by which I think was the month of November, was NaNoWriMo. Yep, I won yay! I actually came up with 50,020 words in 27 days which is nice and quite close to my record for my first winning year back in 2007. However, unlike that first year, my entry this year is no where near as stunning and complete as it could be. Actually if I am honest, its a pile of dung! There is SO much wrong with it. But that's the point of NaNo -you just write, editing can come later on. Anyways, this year my piece is about a woman with Bipolar. Actually I'm not even clear if it is Bipolar. Its in that ball park at least. So pretty much there is a murder in her workplace and unsure if she was capable of the actions or not, she flees. And so the bulk of the story is centred around driving and thinking and memories. There's the introduction of a second main character who much to my dismay never actually reaches his pull potential. Which indeed is something I can go back and fix, but the jerk was so sure of who he was before I started writing and now, well, he's just a let down. Point being, its two people on the road and what life have served them and what it might produce in the future.

I can hardly believe that December will knock on our doors tomorrow. Though if the stores around Croydon and indeed Greater London are anything to go by, Christmas has been here since the end of October. I can't fathom another month of it. But I like it, because it's a very pretty time of year. Depressing, yes, because the days are short and I'm sure the sun goes away on vacation, but it's also a magical time of year. I like London like this.

Crap, I've just looked at the time. Break is over! Get back to it!

Coming to terms

What a month it has been. I always tell myself I'm going to come and blog regularly, but for some reason I never quite get around to it. I suppose its because I spend most of my day sitting at a desk with a computer and I don't want to spend a whole lot of time outside of work doing the same. Which in itself is kinda of a lie, because my laptop is my television as well as a gateway to communication with everything in a pretty quick method. I suppose I've not found myself motivated enough to blog.

As I said, its been a hell of a month. I've been up very high, but I've also been down quite low. There are multiple factors in there, but they all stream into one main line of thought: I have not been happy. Not happy with work. Not happy with myself and not happy with the situation I now find myself in. I'm sure I'm not alone in those thoughts. I guess the main difference I now find clear is that in some regards I'm in a position to do something about it.

Life in Croydon is interesting in some ways, however, its also very lonely. There I said it: I've felt very lonesome of late. Isolated and far away from the people I want to be closest to. In various degrees. Most prominently is coming home to an empty house at night. I'm usually tired and niggly. But there is no one here to share that with. To share the cooking. The company. The books. The flat. The day to day living of life. There is no one there to curl up with last thing and night and no one to wake up smiling to the next morning. I'd assume a fair number of you have been there too. I guess I just hadn't realised just how much I was missing all that.

I've had a bit of a midlife crisis. Not that I'm midlife mind, so how about we call it a mid 20s crisis. In many ways I have lost a sense of direction and focus and substance. I'm not sure what my role in the world is. Again, I'm probably not alone in that. However, usually I'd dive head first into work and guides. But neither are an option at the moment. My work hours are not Guide unit friendly. However, I'm looking at making a change to that. Yes, that's right, I'm applying for work elsewhere. The job that seemed forever to arrive has become something I wish I could do without. If I am honest, there are days I just want to walk out. I want to scream. I want to break things, not that there is anything worth breaking mind you. Anyways, I hadn't wanted to go much beyond saying I'm looking for work elsewhere. I'm smart enough to know that in times such as they are, you don't go quitting a job before you find another, and I'm not the sort of person to start doing things half arsed simply because I am going soon.

So anyways I've been looking at other things to do in what little free time I have. There is a local group which looks after the wild open spaces in the area and cover conservation of both flora and fauna. They meet on a Sunday so I'm thinking that's going to be an option I like. It'll also give me reason to get out of bed on a Sunday morning!! In addition to that, I've discovered once again my love for reading. Its like meeting with an old friend. Its been quite lovely. And on top of that, November is fast approaching which as some of you know means that NaNoWriMo will once again enter the world of Rachael. I'm actually quite excited about it this year, like I was in my first year, and I actually think I've the brain power and creativity to go the distance again. I look forward to the challenge of it.

This past two weeks has been the Croydon Food Festival. There's been a few things going on, though I have missed most of it due to working. However, I've been able to have German Sausage (so very yummy) wander along North End and look at the various stalls around, see some chef action on a stage and today listened to a Tin Band which I know is the wrong term, but its the best way to describe it! There was a Caribbean Market on today, so there were lots of interesting food smells wafting through the air. I've been meaning to make use of the Food Festival discount card to try somewhere new to eat but as yet it hasn't happened. I can't see that it will.

Believe it or not I have the heating on this evening. Well I did have, I turned it off because I was getting quite hot! It was a typical autumn day here in South London and with all my windows opened, I returned to a very chilly flat. This might have also had something to do with the fact I was walking in the cold wind in just a t-shirt type top and I was cold to begin with. Anyways, I feel well assured that I won't freeze this winter unless I don't pay the gas bill and even then I'm told they can't turn it off for fear of people dying or something like that. I don't know. Not that I would let it get that far mind you. A part of me is contemplating opening a window just to cool down a little. Crazy I know.

I've been thinking about my Nonna a lot lately and how I miss her. I know I didn't see her as regularly as I should have done and I guess its now that I can't which makes me realise how much I should have. I don't know, it's weird. I'm not even sure what triggered it, but it makes me feel sad the way life turned out for her. There are so many questions I now have which I won't ever get answers to. In some ways I feel almost like she was a stranger. Which isn't true, but I guess her memory seems so far away now. Like most things really.

Lighten Up

Today I decided to lighten my hair a little. I'm sure in the sun it'll look like quite a lot, but in normal indoors, I doubt too many people will notice. Time will tell no doubt. Why lighten my hair? I'm not entirely sure to be honest! Looking back at various points over the years I've been most shades from blonde to black including a little blue and some purple too. Its quite funny actually (psycho analysing myself here) it seems to be something I do when I don't want to think about anything else. When things in life get hectic, or complicated or I just want out. Perhaps it is a form of transformation into someone else. Despite the fact that in reality I am still the same person. Hmmm, I wonder what a shrink would say?

Yes, I'm in a thoughtful mood. Goodness knows why because of late I feel like all I have done is think and it's keeping me up! Either that or it is the pain of my teeth. Which brings me to an update on that front. The dentist today was terrible. No, not really. I had forgotten just how much I hate going to the dentist, how it scares me and how I break out in a sweat and get really nervous. I think it goes back to that phobia I have of teeth. Anyway, next Friday I will have the top left hand wisdom tooth removed which as it happens has a hole in it which also explains the infection that is there. However, the bigger news is that I actually have to have my bottom wisdom teeth surgically removed at the hospital as apparently that's beyond the means of a dental practice. I don't care, I'm going to get knocked out and that's what matters. I'm sure it'll cost an arm and a leg but if it helps me sleep at night I am not going to complain! In saying that, I'm kinda scared about next Friday because chances are I'm not going to get knocked out for that one and suddenly everyone has felt inclined to tell me all their horror stories: I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THEM!!

The people next door moved out today. Just in case you wanted to know. Not that I knew them of course, it was just an observation that I made out my window as I was passing it.

This afternoon I venture to the Croydon Library. Yes I now know where it is and can compile my observation notes! Frankly as far as libraries go I wasn't overly impressed with the layout and there are no catalogue computers anywhere, or so it seemed. How on earth am I supposed to find out if they have a specific book or not?! Anyways, I wasn't able to join because I had no ID on me which confirms my address. Note to self, hurry up and get a UK drivers licence. That'll solve the ID problem.

My weekend, well what I have as a weekend, seems to be somewhat empty. Kinda the way my flat has felt this week. I've become very aware of how alone I am for some reason. I can't really place why, I just have. I need a couch. Maybe that will help. But back to the weekend. Saturday morning will be an insane one at work. I can see it now. Its all going to go horribly wrong and its all going to be my fault. I can hear it now. Suck it up Rachael. After that, well, home. And Sunday presents the option of going touring someplace in London. Though, that's yet to be confirmed. Technically I'll be a tag along, and there once would have been a time when my pride wouldn't have allowed that. But my pride is not keeping me company at the moment, so I'm ignoring it.

Right, I think I'm due for the next dose of painkillers. Bring it on! Hmmm, that and dinner I think. Oh and maybe some CSI watching, but maybe that should wait until after dinner . . . LOL!

The Pain of Wisdom

I wonder why they are called Wisdom Teeth? I mean, does having them actually make you feel smarter? Or wiser? If you ask me, they're more pain than they are actually worth. I suppose I can't complain too much. I still have all four wisdom teeth and it's only now in my 25th year they've decided to give me grief. And grief they've given! Holy Mother of God its painful. I'd imagine there are a lot of people out there who can relate to the level of pain they give. I remember once my mum showing me one of her wisdom teeth and the size of it scared me into wondering if my teeth are the same. Give me strength.

Today the weather has been glorious! Stunning sunhine with a few white puffy clouds dotted against a tranquil blue sky. It really was quite lovely to look at. Walking home from work late this afternoon was a pleasant experience. The sun was warm and indeed so was the air which has made a nice change since yesterday I actually felt cold at one point.

Tomorrow I will embark upon the NHS dental system here in Croydon and see what can be achieved. I won't hold my breath. I just pray for some descent painkillers if nothing else!

This week marks six months back in the UK. It also means that I've been in a job for three months now. I have to admit it doesn't feel like three months. I mean it was all very daunting to begin with. Now I feel there isn't too much challenge in it. Funny what time will do to you. Its also interesting to note that should I now be interested in trying to get a job with The Met, I can now do so as I've been here long enough to be able to run a background check on me. Or something along those lines anyways.

This afternoon I had a Nanna Nap. It was a nice experience I can tell you due to lack of sleep last night. Actually the past few nights really. I woke feeling quite refreshed and positive. Then I decided to cook a yummy dinner and watch What Lies Beneath which even now I can all ready tell was a bad move. Whose stupid idea was it to watch that? Especially going into the evening and especially since I live on my own?! Like I need noises and bumps to keep me awake as well! Can you image it? Me, under the covers scared to close my eyes thinking the ghosts are going to get me. Ha ha ha, actually, its rather hilarious to picture.

Oh my gosh! This time last week I was getting ready to watch the Edinburgh Military Tattoo!! Oh man! Where the frick did that week go?! It was an awesome experience I have to tell you, SO much better than the television. It was incredible and even now I can still hear the bagpipes playing, the cool evening air, the clear night sky and the excitement of the crowd. I can see the flashing cameras, the glowing lights and the colours bouncing around the arena. *sighs* I wanna go back.

A Box of Crayons

Its a rather odd hour of the night to be blogging, or at least in my world it is! But in coming home on the train and in fact for most of the day, if not the past two days, a lot has been ticking over in my mind and perhaps could explain the lack of ability to stay sleeping at night.

The week has been a roller coaster in some ways. I came back from Edinburgh on Tuesday evening, all chilled and relaxed and well, glowing with the benefits of a holiday as most people do. Wednesday arrived and I was thrown back into reality with a thud. Not that any one thing triggered that, it just so happened it was Wednesday. In the grand scheme of things it was due to happen sooner or later. I guess I didn't expect it to happen in the way it did.

As most of you know, I enjoy writing. Like taking photos, but in a vastly different way. For many years now I've kept hand written journals. I can always tell when things just aren't quite right because I start to write them again. Its almost like writing things down on a page is a form of therapy. Whats important to note that up until the past weekend, I'd not put pen to paper since November last year. That's a hell of a gap in such a turbulent time in my life. Yes, people tell me that the change has been real and I guess the scope of it didn't sink in until a few months ago. In passing at least. However, I think another part of me blocked out feeling the effects of such a large change and overhaul of ones life.

Last Monday I sat in the pews, well chairs really, of The Church of the Holy Rude in Stirling, Scotland. If anyone knows their history and can link that with Tutbury Castle, great. If not, I suppose its not real significant to the story other than the fact that sitting in that chair made me think about my first trip to England some seven years ago. Which in turn got me thinking about other things which eventually found me thinking about substance in life. Long story short, I guess I had some sort of purpose crisis. Since then it's like the flood gates have been left open and I'm suddenly feeling things again. Its like having a box of 24 crayons and then suddenly realising you have a box of 200.

Being a writer, emotions play a large part in the ability to write, to paint a picture or scene using words. I hadn't quite realised how switched off I'd been in regards to what I feeling. I mean yes, I have still been feeling, but I'd not quite given those feelings the notice and attention they truly deserved. Since reality thudded towards me on Wednesday, I haven't quite realised how intensely I was feeling things. I was suddenly awakened, realising that I am feeling a large number of emotions right now and quite strongly.

Anger and frustration seem to be at the top of the list. Also mixed in there is being lonely, un-inspired, stuck, happy, confused, empowered. All in all I've been left feeling somewhat overwhelmed by everything. Today I was faced with the urge to pick up a pen and paper, and write. That's what I did. I'd originally intended to sit in a park and read. I ended up sitting in Hampstead Heath (on and off in the rain I might add) scrawling away on a piece of paper. I suddenly realised I had all these colours inside of me just bursting out wanting to paint a scene. Consequently, I became depressed. Trapped. And a little confused again. Despite how it sounds, it's actually a positive experience. I was mentally blocking that flow of what to feel, what to write, what to paint. And suddenly that blockage has gone. All because I sat in a church and thought about a holiday some years ago.

Once again how I perceive people and the impact they have on my life has changed. Some people I am seeing in a new light, some still the same. Some I am finding I like less, others more. Its rather liberating really. I can almost feel that aside from catching up on cleaning and washing, I want to spend a large portion of what weekend I have writing. About, who knows. As for length or substance, it could be anything. But I want to write, which is something I have not really done or desired in quite some time.

There is so much to catch up on, both creatively and physically. My blog has holes in the physical sense, I've not really been telling the story of what I've seen and where I've been and who I have been with. I really do believe I've been blocking it off.

However, I do know that there is unrest about. Almost like its a make or break situation. I know I should sleep on it, but I'm not really sure I could sleep at the moment. The brain is going 100 miles an hour. Which isn't something new either, I go through these phases, I'm just not really sure what to do about it.

M&S Cola -blah

Its lunchtime. I'm taking the time to catch up on a few things. Seems I have been doing a lot of that lately, through no fault of my own or any one Else's for that matter, it's just how it turned out really. Its been a whirlwind 10 days. Starting a new job has started with a bang which has been brilliant. Quite refreshing if nothing else. It's been a long time since I've really had to think on my feet and been thrown so deeply into the deep end. But I've loved it. Yes, the hours have been hard, as has the struggle with travel and routine. Yet, 10 days later I'm still alive and kicking!

True, I've been sick. But I've managed to charge on and with each day that goes by, I feel there is more and more I can understand, I can do, I can attempt to do. People interaction, new programmes, new bits of information I didn't know. Plus, the two guys I work with love me. I don't say that in a big headed way, because I was only told so via a third party. But it's a really nice feeling to be appreciated. Let me explain.

Working for Vic Pol was a great thing. Yes, like everyone else, I had days where I complained. That comes with any job really. But when I returned from Pax Lodge I realised just how much of a number I was as opposed to an individual working to make a difference. Two years I struggled with that. Working and working and getting no thanks, no indication that the place would fall apart without me. Or, well, there were small glimpses of that, but in the long run it didn't really matter if it was me or someone else doing the work. Or at least that's how it felt.

While job hunting here in London, I really did try keep in mind the aim of finding a job that I would make a difference in. As much as wage and location would be a nice thing to have as I want, I know the bottom line is I want a job I can be happy in, a job that I know I am valued as an individual as well as a team. Frankly, this new role of just me and two chiropractors has been a shock to the system! In saying that, I know it's what I want. Yes, I'm learning as I am going as that's something due to circumstances prior to my arrival that can't be changed. For the first time in a long time, I really feel like I matter. And I like that. I mean, I don't want thanks for everything I do. But I do want some every once in a while for making an effort or a difference. If I go that extra mile (which is in my nature to do so) and simple thanks is nice.

Anyways, I'm using my lunch to write this because it's quiet and I just felt like blogging really. I'm done with my lunch and was drinking my Marks and Spencer's' cola and thought I'd drop by. After writing an e-mail prior to this that is. Its during the course of that e-mail as I was listing various ways to get in contact with me that I realised just how much of my life is electronic! There is mobile, e-mail, Facebook, blog, BigLight, MSN and Skype. Goodness me!

The past two weeks I've been able to meet up with some familiar faces. Rachel S and Maria P were in London for various reasons. One thing I am constantly reminded is that no matter how much time has passed (in both cases nearly two and a half years) we can get together and talk like old friends again. I've had the same experiences with Shanna, Erin S, Saga, Ruth, Doreen, Heather, Grace, Carla, Louise and Janet. I love how working as a house cleaner (said tongue in cheek of course) can bring people together!

There is more excitement afoot for Philers this coming week. With all the babble about A Dolls House starring Gillian Anderson opening and then Ros coming to visit, London now has the onset of the IC coming to see ADH and meeting up with out every fearless aussie leader, Sandi. Woohoo! I have to admit to being very excited about meeting her. Conversations twice on the phone just don't cut it now! There is also some small, but excited talk, about X-Con in Berlin in October. I can't wait! Woohoo!! Though I think the pressure to be a rep for all the Aussie Philes will hit me closer to it. OMG, how insane is that?! But still so very exciting!

So here's where I am at travel wise. In August we're going up to Edinburgh, Scotland for the Military Tattoo. October will be Berlin, Germany for X-Con. For a while there I had thoughts about going to Blackpool, England in September for the L Word L6 convention. That one I think for the moment is on the back burner. Soon I shall embark upon a journey to Worthing to see Mother Duck and Liz. I also want to go annoy Ruth in Ireland (she just doesn't know it yet) at some point before it starts getting cold. Though I've dealt with Minnesota in winter, I should be fine with most things now!! Ha!

Then there is summer in London. Always a brilliant time to have things going on. I really must go see some theatre at Regents Park. And I've got to start walking my London LOOP! Ohhh man, I need more days off!! Lol NO WAY!! I've had far too many of those recently, I'm perfectly happy to have none. . . .

Its starts . . .

What a difference a day can make. Here is a prime example that you never know how things will turn out and what hand fate may deal you.

Friday I had an interview. It was for a part time job working for a Chiropractor in Richmond. It was going to be about 15 hours a week split between Richmond and Ealing. Not ideal, not by a long shot, but its work and that's always a good thing, especially after being unemployed for six months now.

I went in, talked about the role until I was informed that half an hour before my interview, the guy interviewing me, was called about the full time CA (chiropractic assistant) in Croydon was going to go off sick for a month. There was the offer of that if I wanted it. Of the two options, it certainly was appealing. So leaning towards that, we went to get a coffee and talk over the details a little more. He left to go back to the office, telling me to come back at 3pm to meet one of the two Chiropractors in Croydon and perhaps learn a little more about what I have to do and how to do it.

When I go back, I meet the fellow, whom then takes me for coffee (OMG caffeine OD!) and explains how the practice works, numbers, hours, clients etc. Its during this time (a mere half an hour after speaking to the first fellow) that I discover the CA is in fact nor returning to work and thus the roll would be full time permanent. Woohoo! By the sounds of things, I'll have my work cut out for me organising and putting systems in place.

Having spent my first day there today, Saturday, I can see a lot that needs doing. First and foremost in my mind, the place needs to be clean. Ewwww it's really, really bad! And there is just stuff everywhere. Just you wait, I'll get it in ship, shape order. You guys know what I am like.

Last night I met up with Rachel, Pax HA from Maine who was in London on her way home from France. It was really good seeing her and catching up and just talking and sharing. It was a lovely evening weather wise too, a lovely summer night sitting in The Garden Gate's beer garden. I then walked up the hill with her back to Pax to find Maria Plaza sleeping and dazed on Heather's couch! I wouldn't at all be surprised if she woke this morning wondering if it was a dream!

Life is about to sort itself out. Watch this space.

Markers

Even an electronic marking of time cannot escape the fate of simply being forgotten with the passing of time. It sounds funny to say it like that, but indeed it's the fate of all the journals I have. I've not a single journal where all the pages are filled. Its almost like I get bored with them and move onto the next one. Or perhaps the cover, the pages, the pen are a reflection of the person I am during the duration of the journal's life, and once that phase has ended, thus too must the journal.

I can't say a lot has happened in a month. But that also is a lie in itself. No longer do I find myself a resident at Pax Lodge, I now call Catford home. For a little while anyways. I'm still looking for work, the 4th of June will mark six months being unemployed, the last three of those an utter nightmare of trying to keep myself sane and occupied and my brain from becoming a stagnant mass of well, nothingness really. I think I've exhausted every puzzle book I have. I'm thinking I should start taking IQ tests just to keep my brain pumping and happy and alive.

June is almost upon me. Yes indeed it brings the promise of summer and fine weather and a life and vibe in London which most people probably hate by now, but one I am looking forward to getting to know again. Summer here is amazing. Alive. Colourful. Busy. Varied. I love it. Indeed the past week or so has seen some glorious sunshine and made my freckles which have been exposed to it, stand out with colour. I think my skin is glad to see sunshine. And a sunshine which won't burn it to the core.

South London is a rather curious place. Let me make this clear now -I did not expect a suburb like Hampstead! I am well aware that the area in which Pax Lodge sits is a rather nice one and not one replicated in many places. In saying that though, the Catford area really isn't that bad. Yes, it's a little poorer. Yes, the transport links leave a lot to be desired for, but it's not that bad. I have moments where I feel out of place amongst people, being only too aware that my skin colour is far too pale for these parts. But I don't feel unsafe. Just different. I take all experiences I have as something new to learn and feel and well, experience. From that point of view I am loving it.

And it certainly hasn't hampered my job hunting either. Since my arrival in March I think I've now hit the 500 applications/e-mails/CV lodging mark. That's insane. The number of interview to come out of that? I think I barely make 20. Of those I've been shortlisted from 400 down to 20, or 10, or 8 or even 2. But not quite close enough yet to secure an income. God I hope I can soon. I really hate being poor!

But there again, its not as bad as it could be. I have clothes and food and a roof over my head. I should be thankful for that. I'm healthy (minus a rash which I think is actually an allergy to something). For the most part I'm happy, though a job and seeing Erin again would certainly fill the quota of happiness in my life. Generally speaking. I'm doing well.

I recently went to the theatre again, this time to see A Doll's House which stars the ever amazing Gillian Anderson. Doing the maths I figured it was 10 years or so since I realised that she did theatre and that same amount of time that I promised myself that I'd see her in the flesh, performing on stage. You have to admit, that is kinda amazing! I've actually done that! Unfortunately she didn't come down to the stage door between the matinee and the evening show, but that's okay. I've still chances to come.

Wherever We Wander, Wherever We Roam . . .

I've been asked a few times in the past weeks about how it feels to be back at Pax Lodge again. For the most part there has been mixed feelings. Things have changed and yet some things have not. There are things I see or hear which make me stop and pause and wonder what the response would have been in my time as a volunteer. Its only natural, I am sure all those who return do exactly the same thing.

To be back has been a new experience for me. Third time returning to Pax and each time has been different. My first time was back on the cusp of adulthood. I'd just turned 18, was in my final months of high school and at a very complex stage of my life. Indeed one of many! I don't remember too much, only that the house tour we took was given by our own London Guide from Birmingham, Ruth. I remember it being a very moving time for my other traveling companions, and perhaps I cried too. I'm not sure. I know a part of me walked away that day feeling that the experience was not as moving as I had expected it to be. At that point, I really didn't believe I'd come back.

Experience number two spanned 14 months of my life, at yet another complex point in time. Many of the people who will read this were a part of that experience. It really was life changing in so many ways. Beyond what mere words could ever help me to express. I grew and learned and experiences, and most of all lived and felt alive. The one thing I do know is that it was unique to me and while some common factors will be shared between those who were there with me, there were personal journeys which no one will ever fully understand or relate to.

Then there is now. The Long Term Resident. Sort of an outsider, but closer to the experience than a guest would be. Generally speaking of course. Its such an interesting role to find myself in. I observe, as I always do, and think about what things the current staff and volunteers will learn and experience about and for themselves.

This evening there were welcome ceremonies and leaving ceremonies. These are somewhat personal moments which will shape how the new arrivals will view there new friends, and how those leaving will be forever engraved into the history of the building. To become another face, or memory or legend that will be mentioned in the years to come, if not by name, but by reputation. I've always wondered what it would be like to be a stranger walk through the door in those moments, wondered what they would think or feel or turn away running from.

I firmly believe that in the atmosphere remains a part of every staff member and volunteer. When a candle is lit, and the lights go down, somewhere in the glowing aura of the flame lingers a special vibe. Its in that swaying light where you can be witness to world peace. To the coming together of different races, cultures and personalities. There is something magical about hearing a Guide Promise and Taps being said and sang in a foreign language. Its in those glowing moments that life bonds are forged.

So while things may change or stay unchanged at a visual level, its those small, quiet and personal moments which remain the same. Words might be different, ceremonies may differ from time to time, but right there in that moment, lay an unspoken understanding as to why each person is there and what they hold closest to their hearts. A special moment to which few are privileged to see and feel and hear.

To my Pax Lodge Family of new friends, old friends, mentors, guardians, sisters and life companions, I just wanted you to know that I think of you often and though we may only see each other once a year, once every four years or once every ten years we'll forever be bound by our memories, experiences and friendships. Life may present us with challenge and change, but together, somehow, we'll make it through.

And if all else fails, I'll always meet you there, Where The Rainbow Ends.

Where I am at

Bleh. That's about it really. I've stopped looking at those online symptom websites because in the past ten minutes I've had everything from Strep throat to Scarlet Fever to who knows what else. I think if I'd kept on going, I would have come across a fatal disease. Totally leaving that alone! But yes, I feel crappy. Have been for a few days now, though the past two have been the worst and I am entering day three of Blehville and day two of nasty spots. Hurry up Monday, I want to go to the Doc!

Illness aside, its stunning outside. Spring has come to London and we've had some simply glorious days of sunshine and blue skies. Everything is in flower and green and just happy looking. Its nice. If I have the energy I am thinking of going out into the Heath for a walk. We'll see.

The past week or so has been insanely busy. I've met new friends (Yay for Victoria!) and met up again with old friends (Yay for Saga, Ruth and Doreen!). Eaten at a variety of cheap eats, played games in the Trocadero centre and won me a toy cat, seen movies (Doubt and Revolutionary Road -totally digging cheap cinema). Even scored two free tickets to two shows! In the same day! Woohoo! The first was 'Shout' a small musical set in the swinging 60s which I have to admit was really good! I even knew at least half of the songs, what does that tell you??? And then in the evening went along to St. Stephens (the little run down church on the corner who know the area) to see 'The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe' which was just brilliant! I was a little weary at first, but they did a marvelous job, even managed to scare the crap out of me at one point!

I'm still unemployed. Its been a busy week on that front too. Two jobs, two call back interviews and two times still unemployed. Though to be honest, the first one I turned down because it turned out to be a job standing on the street getting people to donate money. I'm sorry, I really don't want to do that! In an interesting twist of fate, the person I 'interviewed' with on the second day, I ran into her trying to get people to sign up in Leicester Square. Like that wasn't awkward . . . and then the second job was for a company called Perform which I have to admit to being very excited about. Despite my first impressions of it being a performance school in the arts sense, it was actually a performance school, but looking at a child's performance in speaking and expression and developing skills to help them in life. Very similar to Guides in fact. Walked out of the first interview knowing I had a call back, the call back interview I was very unsure about because it didn't go as I was told it would. There was no logic or problem solving test and to date they've not contacted me either via phone or electronically despite being told they would regardless if I got the job or not. So I assume since it starts tomorrow, I didn't get it. I am pretty bummed about that.

However, it's a new week tomorrow and I just need to put my head down, bum up and keep at the job hunting. The right one will turn up I am sure.

Bout time eh?

After much anticipation, my next post is here! Ha! Yeah okay because people have been screaming at me to hear about the life of an unemployed person in London. . .

. . . Gosh how depressing is that? It's true, yes, I'm still unemployed, and yes, I do have somewhere dire moments of down time, but that's to be expected. On the whole, life is kinda grand. Seriously, I live in one of the most animated cities on the planet, what could be so bad?

Indeed the job search has been much more harder than I anticipated. I've been here a month and three days now and with three interviews under my belt and something like 180 job applications lodged, the odds aren't in my favour. However, the feed back I have been getting has been somehow twistedly positive. I'm over qualified. I've made shortlists, but not shortlists of shortlists. So clearly I am employable. For the right role. Which to date hasn't reared it's taunting head.

So to occupy myself in all this free time I have (well outside of applications which believe it or not takes up a big chunk of my day) I've been wandering the city. I've been to see We Will Rock You again (friggin awesome, if not a little different) and been duped by the movie DUPLICiTY. Walked the gardens of St. James Park, Hyde Park, Embankment Gardens and though not a garden, wandered along the Thames Path. Which I might add had me run into filming for a movie called Forget Me Not. The actress looked somewhat familiar to me, but I cannot place her name. I guess we'll see when the movie comes out.

I've had good times with people. We had a surprise celebration party for Heather who has just passed exams and earned her Blue Badge here in London. Which I might add she gets presented with today. I mingled with a great group of kids for an afternoon of fun. I ran into a face from high school which was something nice and unexpected, a great way to spend three hours on a relaxing day. Visited a few local pubs, including one for a trivia night which we won (with little help from me I might add!).

Been to some remarkable places I missed on my previous visits like the Portobello Road Markets on a Saturday morning (utter chaos I might add!), wandered the rooms of The National Gallery, visited the BFI building on the Thames and even took a trip out to Old Street to see Jamie Oliver's famous Fifteen eatery. Needless to say on my current budget I could not eat there, but I certainly plan to in the future :-)

Overall its lots of little things that have occupied my time. The weekend before the G20 summit there was a PPF march (Put People First) which found me sitting on the base of Nelson's Column (that's somewhat crude in some minds no doubt) for two hours watching the march go by and look enviously at other photographers cameras. Sometimes it takes being somewhere quite randomly to find something to amuse you. I have to admit, that's one of the things I love about London. Somewhere, somehow, there is always something happening.

*sighs* Jeff Dunham is in London tonight . . .

Theatreland

So I decided that since I was going to be by the laptop most of the day job hunting, writting job applications and well, being dull, I could at least go into Central London and do it on free wi-fi! Two issues. I'm not very confortable where I am sitting and I'm not getting a whole lot of job hunting done. Far too many distractions!

Needless to say I didn't get the job I was interviewed for last week. Oh gosh, was it really only a week ago? Wow. Anyways, its back to the drawing board and I figured out on estimate I'm finding 10 jobs a day that I could do, thus working out to be that I've applied for around 70 -80 jobs since I've been here. How can I not have heard back from any of them?! Seriously people!

At the moment I am in Covent Garden, close, ever so close to the Donmar Warehouse where Gillian Anderson will perform the role of Nora in A Dolls House starting in May. It was somewhere to aim for and hear I am. Soon I'll wander through Neals Yard. After that, I do not know.

Recently I have discovered the brilliance of YouTube (yes, slow I know) for watching old TV shows. I'm slowly making my way through the series Birds of a Feather which is a BBC show that's only had the first six episodes released on DVD and that's it. Anyways, I'm loving it! I'm finding episodes I've never seen and it reminds me why I love the show so much.

Its been a nice few days weather wise. The sun has been out and making itself known for hours at a time which makes a nice change. I've finally twigged the more time I spend in the sun, the better I feel. You'd think I would have remembered that from my last winter in London! Oh wells, a little slow off the mark at times I am. You know that.

Jetlag and Beyond

Here I am a month and a half into job hunting, a week and a half into living in London and a day and a half into battling the blues. On the upside, it’s sunny out. Which is a nice change. Hopefully it shall stick around. And I think the jetlag has finally gone.

It’s been a big week and a half, an emotional rollercoaster unlike anything I’ve felt in a long time. In saying that, no one panic. I’m fine and probably experiencing somewhat normal emotions under the circumstances –it’s just not something I’m too accustomed to dealing with! At times I hear Sally’s voice in my head ‘Just keep smiling’ and more often than not, it gets me through. However, that’s not working so I need someone else’s words of wisdom!!

Being home in London the city has been nice. It started coming back from Heathrow and sort of continued into the rest of the week as I ventured in to Leicester Square for a job interview, wandered Oxford Street and shopped in Camden Town and out at Brent Cross. It’s an odd feeling to describe, but it was like coming home and meeting familiar friends. Seeing the somewhat mix match of fashion, the crowds, the setting up of movie releases, watching people shuffle on buses and the Tube. Comforting and familiar. I have to admit it has been nice. And exciting.

Thursday night I went to the Ceremony of the Keys which happens each night at the Tower of London. It’s basically the locking up and has been happening for over 700 years now. The entire ceremony only takes 7.5 minutes to complete, but is so worth it. I think there is something special about standing in the darkened grounds of the Tower of London at the clock strikes ten, as the guards go about business as usual and as a lone trumpeter plays The Last Post as a gentle breeze flaps around the British Flag. Something historically magical.

Settling into home at Pax Lodge has been a challenge. Some things have changed, some have stayed the same. I’ve struggled somewhat this past weekend as move familiar faces descend on the building to celebrate the 18th birthday of Pax Lodge. It was lovely seeing Janet again, rather surprising to find Doreen wandering through the HA corridor late at night and humbling to meet again with various Friends of Pax Lodge whom I am sure are going to live forever, even if it’s just in the hearts and minds of those who’ve met them. Yet despite all that, I have been incredibly lonely these past few days.

Yes, I miss my Erin. Having a constant companion for nearly two years now and on and off before that has found me less able to deal with my own company. Not that it’s a bad thing mind! Being back in a building that holds many memories for me . . . watching the volunteers interact with each other . . . it reminds me of the friendships I made here and looking back between the two time periods, it is not hard to understand why I feel a little on the lonely side.

In saying that, the current staff and volunteers are lovely. I can honestly say that. They’ve been lovely and welcoming and chatty which I have appreciated a lot. Last night I even got to venture into the social room, Finland, which once was home to Priyanka and later, Shanna. So it was a little odd but such a nice set up! They even have a little fridge in there for the keeping of beverages!

A new week has started though. Its Sunday, the Holy Day. For me, just to stick to a routine of some description, means doing my laundry. Joy! Monday brings the promise of a call about a job (wait, wait, and waiting) and the next round of applying for more. It brings me a day closer to my next theatre show, closer to the summer and closer to seeing old friends too.

Writing this I realise I am still to talk about the remainder of my trip North to Minnesota! How slack am I?! You’d think with all the free time I have on my hands I’d be tap-tap-tapping away to share the adventure with you all! And so maybe I shall . . .

. . . Upon arrival in Minneapolis visibility was bad. What I loved most about my few days in the Minnesota Twin Cities, was getting to know Nancy’s (and Erin’s too I guess!) family. My favourite moments were meal times, it’s rare for me to have a meal with 10 people sitting around a table, but with a family of eight children, I should image it was normal for them! I loved it! Seriously. The project for those few days was to sort through lots of old photos and documents from passed members of the family. I touched documents and photos that were over 100 years old, it was simply amazing!

Also coupled with that was a trip across the border to River Falls, Wisconsin to visit Wendy from Canada. It was lovely to see her again and finally get to see her slice of heaven. And heaven it was! It was just wonderful! We went snow shoeing which was a very new experience for me and I learnt lots about the prairie work being done in her area. Next time I plan to stay longer and explore the area a little more.

Coming home from Minneapolis, we stopped in Wabasha (yes home of Grumpy Old Men!!) and visited the National Eagle Centre and I got to see a real life Bald Eagle and hold some of it’s feathers. I can tell you one thing, I’d not like to come under attack from one of those birds!

Old London Town

And here I am! Two and a half days later I think I might just be getting over the jet lag. Possibly. I'm not really sure, I'll let you all know when I wake up, lol. In all seriousness, it wasn't so bad. My flight from Chicago got into Heathrow 45 minutes early. The flight itself was good, three seats to myself and it was only 7 hours long! That's a push over! The hilarious part occurred when I left the airport, lugging about 120 pounds (approx 60 kg) of luggage between a suitcase, a backpacking backpack, a normal backpack, a laptop case, handbag and a pillow, plus two jackets. Needless to say I was very tired by the time I reached Pax Lodge. Exhausted even. Someone on the Tube made a crack about me having enough stuff to move house. He didn't have a thing to say when I told him that was pretty much what I had done!

For those of you who have been to Belsize Park Tube station, the stairs to get up to the lift area have never seemed so daunting. Seriously. I have about a billion people go past me (okay that's an over exaggeration) but no one helped. Not even the silly people who walked up the stairs behind me, they just huffed and puffed because I was slowing them down. Whatever!

In saying that, its rather odd to be back. Hampstead still looks, sounds and smells like it did. That's a rather strange thing to say, I know, but all I can tell you is that it simply does. I was recognised by the woman at the Crepe stand, she even remembered what I ordered all the time. I didn't realise I was such a memorable person.

The past two full days has pretty much seen me trying to settle in, doing food shopping, feeding myself, unpacking and making house in my room. In addition to that, it's been some pretty hard core job hunting. And thus far it seems to have paid off. I have my first interview next Wednesday which is rather exciting, and I was also contacted by a woman from a recruiting company who specialise in Government jobs. All works for me pretty much, I'll take anything thrown my way!

And Pax. What can I say? In a lot of ways, things have changed. But in others its still very much the same. An amusing moment occurred when I closed the door to get into the shower. While the inside of the building has been painted and things have been moved around and what not, despite all the changes, I can close the door of the shower area and find Caro's German lessons still on the back of the door. Its almost comforting in a weird kind of way. I'm also enjoying simply watching. I was asked by one of the RVs if I wanted to go up the Crepe stand with them (and I said yes of course!!) and found myself looking at them as an outsider, watching and wondering if that was how we looked a few years back. It too was kind of comforting.

Last night I went and had dinner with Sally, Andrew and a few of the St. Johns people. For the most part I spent most of the time catching up with Sally. Despite the jet lag, I actually enjoyed it and was glad I went. I considered not, but did. Only issue was I went to the wrong Pizza Express, oops!

I'm still to finish up writing about my last few days in the United States, I am sure I shall get around to it one day, like putting up photos. Its very jarring to suddenly be in another country again. I'm starting to understand why people look at me like a mad woman when I explain the saga of being an Australian who was in the US on her way to moving to the UK.

However, I have no regrets and am still optimistic about getting a job. Perhaps I should revisit that thought in about a week or two!

London Baby!

I have decided that I have a lot of things in common with Joey from Friends. Some, not all. Anyways, its his excitement for the Mother Country that is echoing around in my mind as I sit here at Chicago International Airport. I’m writing this offline as I have to pay for wi-fi and since I am leaving the country, that’s pointless. So here I am.

Its a rather strange sensation. I’m sitting in an American Airport listening to a group of British people talk. And it sorta scares me. In a good way, I’m sure, but I think suddenly I have realised just how huge this. Every once in a while I have these moments which remind me that I’m likely to be a tad crazier than most people. Clearly I am. I’m excited scared.

To make matters worse, the woman at Cincinnati when I checked in decided I needed to be on the earlier flight to give me more time in Chicago. Needless to say I had four minutes to say good-bye to the love of my life and future mother-in-law. Can you imagine how gut wrenching that was? In one way I guess it was better because it didn’t drag the wait out. However, I’d have liked a little more than four minutes! Needless to say it frazzled me some. But I am here, I made it.

In addition to that, I’m no longer an excess baggage virgin. Yep, I paid a lovely $50USD for having too much. In reality, it should have been $100USD but the man was nice and said in this hard economic time, everyone needs a break. I’m not a religious person, but bless that good man.

Alas, here I sit. That opening line was just for Erin. I’ve barely been able to write about my last week or two in the States and I’m off to the next country. I figure my first few days will be dedicated to getting over jet lag and getting my boxes to me safe and sound. Thus it should provide ample time to catch up on the blog and upload photos on Facebook. Or at least that’s the aim. If I somehow manage to get an interview, that’s so coming first!

Closings and Openings

Here I sit with officially less then a week left in the United States. Can someone explain to me where almost three months of time has gone?! Seriously, it feels like only yesterday that we unloaded the van from our trip across the South from Los Angeles. Though maybe that's because we got back from Minnesota yesterday and were unpacking the car . . .

Right, the journey North. It was lots of driving, I know that much! I was actually surprised at the lack of snow we had driving up. Even as we neared Minneapolis the ground was much more visible than I had anticipated. But back a little.

To break the journey we stayed in Bloomington/Normal over night. Which was probably a good thing as three people and a bunch of luggage in a smallish car does not bond well with around 5 hours of driving. I have to admit, nothing eventful happened here. Not that I expected it would.

Night two we stayed in Des Moines with Erin S. On the way we stopped at Iowa 80, the biggest truck stop in the world (or so it boasts) which was kinda cool in a truck stop kind of way . . .We got to the city just before dusk and Erin showed us around the Living History Farm where she works. It was so cool! If not dark and a little cold too. But I really enjoyed it and was fascinated with her job there. We met all the animals (alive and dead . . .) and saw into all the buildings including the 1900s house where they hold dinners off season. Note to self, must go back and experience this!

After unloading at Erin's apartment, we ditched Nancy at her hotel and the three of us headed downtown for dinner and a little entertainment. What I do remember about Des Moines was the very cool library that was glass and quite see through, as well as the numerous walkways above the roads from buildings to buildings. We ate at a place whose name I can't remember, but it had dueling pianos which was pretty awesome. I managed to make a fool of myself by falling flat on my face after misjudging the distance from the stage to the floor. Oh wells, its not like I am ever going back again!! Anyways, I requested Men at Works 'Down Under' which I have to admit to really enjoying!

The next morning after a stop at Starbucks, we hit the road again aiming for Duluth, in North Minnesota. It wasn't until we were an hour or two away that we started seeing the sorts of snow I was expecting. After stopping at the traditional half way mark, Toby's, for doughnuts, we arrived in Duluth after dark. As we pulled into the street where Nancy's sister lives, we spotted deer just sort of wandering around the neighbourhood! I was so excited! I would imagine that's the image everyone has of Australia, only substituting the deer for Kangaroos!

That evening I met the first new family member, cousin Valerie. Despite not meeting her cat Bijou, I feel like I know the cat too! It struck me as amazing as to how similar Erin and her cousin are. It was during conversations that Betty's Pies came up.

In the morning after Mickey Mouse shaped waffles for breakfast, Erin and I went out into the snow and had lots of fun. Only I wasn't able to make my giant snowball as it was the wrong kind of snow. However, it was the most snow I'd ever played in so I wasn't complaining one bit! Erin made a cave for Sealy and I managed to break the end of a pipe. So it was all eventful. When we came in we talked about the plans for the day before heading back down south to Minneapolis. And here, Betty's Pies were talked about again.

We piled into the car with Kay and headed out to Lake Superior which was frozen! It was so awesome! Because of the wind and current, the ice was sliding along and snapping and crunching and it was amazing! It was so cool! Seriously, it was great. I even picked up one of the bits of ice and it was like a huge sheet of broken glass, thick and clear and really heavy. Getting back in the car to defrost a little after my experiences with my second Great Lake in less than a week, we continued the journey North to Two Harbours and a destination I'd heard lots of talk about. Yes, Betty's Pies. And I can tell you, after trying several types of pie, I can so tell you it's totally worth it! That stuff is the best pie ever! And I had a scrumptious pasty too! I was a very content Aussie after that lunch I can assure you!

What I love most about the morning was driving along the lake and the scenery and the snow and the sun, it was just so wonderful and I think I started to fall in love with Duluth and the surrounding areas. I can totally see the appeal!

That afternoon Nancy rode with Kay so it was just Erin and I in the car down to Minneapolis. By the time we got there, it was dark, there was snow falling and it was like driving in fog. We're on the interstate and having a really hard time seeing the lines on the roads. It was really kind of scary. But we made it, safe and sound. And there at the end of it, were Erin's Grandparents! It was so good to see them again!

Passing Time

So anyways I wanted something to do to occupy myself. Here's where we are at. We were supposed to leave for our trip to Minnesota this morning. And we will, don't get me wrong! Nancy had a Docs appointment in Lexington (on the way on our trip) and we were going with her and leaving from Lexington. Makes total sense. Its along the interstate we need to go. But no, Erin comes in last night and tells me Nancy is going alone and will come back and get us. Way to lose at least two hours travel time! How stupid is that?! I totally don't understand why, it just doesn't make sense in my mind. Needless to say, I'm awake and have been for a while and am sitting here looking at our bags and just fuming about it because its argh!!!!

Okay, now I've gotten that out.

The trip is passing by incredibly quickly. Suddenly I'm left with about 15 days in the US and freaking out about money and jobs and much uncertainty. This is somewhat normal I well imagine. And in the grand scheme of things I shouldn't worry too much. I have a place to live and some money. So it'll be fine. I guess I'm just sort of idle and am used to going right back to work after a holiday.

Last Thursday we hit the road to Southbend, Indiana to go and see Maggie in her Notre Dame world. And a very awesome world it is too. Great little flat, huge campus and even snow. What more could you ask for? She even has squirrel friends!!! We spent Friday in Chicago which is a much huger place than I initially thought it was. Yes, it looks big on the map but in real life its positively massive. We spent the day in the downtown area which may not sound big, but it really was. Saw Trump Tower and the Tribune Tower, at deep dish pizza at the first pizza place in Chicago, went into Bloomingdales and spent the afternoon out on Navy Pier which no doubt is much more exciting in summer, but I loved in anyways for it's totally random Stained Glass Museum. That and I saw my first Great Lake! Yay!! It was like being on the side of an ocean! Seriously!

The train ride there and back was somewhat interesting. The train wasn't as I expected it would be for a long distance trip. Coming home it was highly entertaining in an annoying way. Two and a half hours with all walks of life. Hmmm.... some stations weren't even stations, there's just a patch of asphalt and that's it!! AND the trains go down the middle of streets! Okay so at home they usually run along the back of houses, behind the backyard. Nope, down residential streets, its down the middle of the road where the cars and things are! Weird!

On Saturday morning we walked around the Notre Dame campus. Area. School. Uni. I'm not sure what to call it. Anyways, I saw Touchdown Jesus!!! Yay! And some very nice looking buildings. Its almost like being transported to Oxford or Cambridge. Anyways, we went into the library and up to the Medieval floor and into the graduate area (you have to know the magic code) and I touched books that were like 700 + years old! I was so scared to drop one!! Oh my gosh!! And they're just there are reference material . . . cripes!

Homeward bound we decided to stop overnight at a place called Nashville, Indiana. It was such a quaint little town! It was great! Met a random person who led us to random place to eat and had the best food ever! Okay maybe not ever, but it was really, really, really good! In the morning we wandered around all the little shops of candy and candles and art and craft and it was great!

Driving back to Lexington I drove Erin mad with my half hour updates of how soon it was we were going to see Jeff Dunham and the last hour was the worst because I think I went totally loopy and insane. However, he was awesome!! The bulk of the time was spent with Walter, Achmed and Peanut (with an appearance by Jose) but at the end he bought out Bubba J because apparently he's a Kentuckian . . .anyways, that was hilarious because everyone in the audience (generalising here) knew the lines!! Plus I now have a very cool Peanut shirt which I'm rather excited about. Two hours of Dunham and Co live, what a great way to spend a Sunday night.

In general we've just been home and seeing movies or finishing up on the house. The last week we were on Tornado watch which was pretty exciting. But nothing eventuated. Nancy tells me I can't talk about Whiteouts because with my track record, we're likely to have one during our time in Minnesota! I can't help it!

As The Day Closes

I’m in such a weird mood. Well I shouldn't say weird because I am sure somewhere along the line someone is likely to point out its probably a very normal mood for someone in my situation to be in. So no, not weird. Maybe nostalgic. Maybe reflective. Maybe contemplative. I guess the weird part is that I’m not really sure what has sparked it. No, that’s not really true either. It all sort of started at dinner last night as we were sitting there eating our pasta in Olive Garden.

See, we were talking about Italian cooking, and as a result of that I started talking about my Nonna. It seems terrible to think that now all the things that made her who she was, all the things that made her memorable in my mind, just aren’t there anymore. I won’t hear her say things, or won’t smell things that are just so typically her. And so I began to think about how that part of my life is now something I can’t go back to.

Then we started talking about family trees. And so I was mentally putting mine together in my head and this morning when I got up I actually mapped it out. Don’t get me wrong, I want to make this very clear now, I am not missing my family. Well yes I am, but nothing more than is to be expected. I don’t regret the big move I am making or anything. I just, like I said, I’m just a little nostalgic.

As I swam deeper into my nostalgia, I realised just how much of a brink of nothingness I am. I mean that in a positive way, despite the negative connotations its probably just revealed in your mind. I sort of feel like I’m perched on the edge of The Grand Canyon (I can say that now I know what it feels like!). I’m sturdy on the edge, but right there, right in front of me is a vast empty and open space. I really don’t know what is next. I mean, I can plan for things to be next, but in reality there is no promise of anything. I’ve shifted everything I know to be constant (in its inconsistency) and placed it in the realm of uncertainty.

Relax. I’m not freaking out. I guess I suddenly just realised the scope of what it is I am actually doing. Nothing is going to be the same, not really. Not in Australia and not in London. At least not the way I remember it. I have no great expectations and am rather excited about the prospect of starting a new life there. But the familiarity that I have with London is somewhat superficial. I will merely be seeing things that look familiar. People I knew from my previous time there will have changed, that’s to be expected. So I’m not worried about that. Like I said, I find it rather exciting.

I don’t know, I guess I am just in a thinking mood, but not anything in particular. I think I feel a little left of centre right in this moment. Like having an out of body experience. Or having prior knowledge of something before it actually happens. I really just don’t know how to explain it.
Here in the dusk I am sitting here looking out the window at the fast approaching evening sky, listening to Nickleback and well, feeling like there is a huge expanse of space within me. I’m a little concerned that people are going to think I am spacing out or having an emotional breakdown, I am not, let me make that very clear! I’m just trying to figure out what it is I am feeling and put it into words. Its not really working very well.

Blessed. I think I feel blessed for how life is turning out for me. No, it hasn’t been easy, but then I am also very aware of other people and their lives and really I have nothing to complain about, not that I am wanting to complain. Argh! I don’t know! I’m frustrated! Stupid words! I had indeed intended to sit down and write postcards that I’ve now had sitting here for close to two months. Ones I’d picked up on my trip when I first arrived in the US. I just haven’t yet. And I should. I’m lazy. I’d also hoped to spend a little time writing. Or editing. And I haven’t done that either. I think I’m just letting the days sort of drift by. With less than a month here, yep, just 25 days until I fly out to London, you’d be thinking I’d be making some big attempts to be doing things I’d hoped to achieve in my time here!

And yet the only thing that really concerns me, is trying to fit everything into my suitcases! Ha!

D.C -Part 2!

Here I sit down in the lounge area of the hotel. This is our last night here in Lexington. Needless to say that does not mean that we'll be going back to the house. Still no power there. However, we're actually going back to Richmond to a hotel there. Frankly I'm in two minds about that. The last hotel we were in there, the power went out. I'm just concerned it will again because the lines are still so iffy and now there is talk that the water might not be fit to drink unless you boil it. I'm of the opinion that if it ain't broken, leave it. In other words, I'd stay where we are because it's working. But its not my choice to make, so I won't. It won't be terrible I am sure. I dunno, maybe I'm just full of doom right now.

But back to D.C, the point of posting this.

Monday in Washing was a very different experience than Sunday. The biggest difference was that it suddenly felt like the population had tripled over night. Which I am sure it did, there were a lot of people heading into town. Knowing how cold it was and how much trouble I was all ready having with my knees and knowing that Tuesday was going to be taxing on both accounts, I opted to stay back in the hotel room and leave around lunchtime to head into D.C. We were staying out in Baltimore, if that helps any.

So I rested up, and braved to cold to see what was going on in the city. I got off the metro at Eastern Markets which was a lovely area of little market stalls and quaint little shops. One was a haven of Children's toys and books. While I was looking through a box of artwork (I actually purchased something) I ran across the others who had picked up the tickets for the ceremony and had started to walk out of town.

We parted again and I found some squirrels in a park to make friends with over morning tea. I didn't stay long because staying still was mighty cold. I walked through Capitol Hill admiring all the cool apartments and listening to some drunk guy bitch about the directions someone had given him. I had to admit I laughed at him. The area around the Capitol Building was swarming with people, the biggest collection of Shakespeare work was closed and I was at a loss. I decided to walk up to Union Station and catch the metro out to Chinatown to have some lunch and spend some time sitting and being warm and resting up. Well, the walk to Union Station exposed me to more people that I've ever seen at the MCG. People in line for tickets. The roads around Union Station were blocked off and crammed with people. I also found another squirrel who was mighty friendly, some bastard kid chased it away. I figured it wasn't a good idea to give him a piece of my mind.

It took some time to get through the crowds and down onto the metro platform. My hopes were that there would be less people out at Chinatown because everyone was further downtown. I was pretty wrong. However, I was hoping for good food and I found some at a place called Wok N Roll which I'd recommend and it was a pretty good price too. So I killed some time in there before walking back downtown after getting somewhat lost and turned around because the metro station I wanted was closed off, and then there were streets closed off and I got yelled at by a police woman because in the process of looking at my map, I stepped off the gutter and onto a road that was blocked off and she got all mad at me!

Walking a little further found me in a novelty Obama shop with all sorts of hats and caps and posters and cartoons and bookmarks. My overprices purchase was a little tin of mints called 'Mints for Obama -Mint you can Believe In' which was perfect in its crazy way. A little on from there I came to the International Spy Museum, but it was an hour and a half wait to go in, so instead I wandered around the gift store and gawked at all the very cool items I wanted to buy but didn't have the money for.

Not long after that the crowds were starting to get to me and it was very hard to find somewhere that didn't have people in it. Despite the small size of London and the crowds it could pull for Live 8 and the World Cup, there were always little holes in the wall to vanish into a find a quiet corner. That was not at all possible in D.C, not that I could find! I went to the Barnes and Nobles I'd gone to the day before in the hope the little Starbucks area would be quiet again. I was wrong. There were even people sitting in book isles and along walls just to be sitting! So that's exactly what I did, found a gap along the wall, and sat with my coffee, cookie and my book just to try and chill before facing the crowds on the Metro. Two days around lots of people was starting to take its toll and I knew the Tuesday would be worse.

Recharged, I decided it was getting dark and I didn't feel up to meeting the others and other people for dinner, so I went back out to the hotel, stopping for dinner on the way home. Kalan and Megan came home without Calvin some time later. He then came home close to midnight. He should have just stayed awake as far as I was concerned.

Picture this. Tuesday, January 20th 2009, Inauguration Day. Its cold, dark and 4am. Yep, we were up, dressed and heading out to the metro station for an event that was due to start after 11am. They were saying be there by 9am the latest. As terrible as the hour was and as cold as the temperature was, I'm glad we left when we did! As we were out towards the end of the Metro line, the station wasn't as packed as it could have been. But as we got closer in, people started to pile on. I think we got off the Metro at like 4:45am and hit gridlock at the bottom of the escalators. And on the street. And on the curb. That lovely curb which we stood on in the darkness for about two hours. At one point I lost my hat, I think it was when I was calling people. Thankfully because of the crowd, we'd moved maybe three centimetres in the whole time. At least it was a good way to get warm. And laugh, which happened every time the yelling guy opened his mouth and well, yelled.

Just after 7am we were herded into a second cattle yard, walking under a silver gate waving tickets in the air. Once more we stood for some time, maybe an hour or two, like sardines in a tin. You can only go so long without getting cold and bored and sore from standing. I know I shouldn't complain, and really I am not because it was awesome to be there in the pre-dawn darkness with all those people, but oh my god the standing for so long killed me!

Just before 8:30 we were shipped through into phase two and washed along with the crowd to the security gates. You had to unzip the outer layer of clothes, be pat down and had your bag (if you had one) looked through. Then the run was on. People were rushing to get the best possible vantage point they could. Frankly as long as you could see a screen, you'd be seeing more than you would just looking at the Capitol! We had a good spot though, right along the edge of the reflecting pond in front of the Capitol Building, thus at least 80% of The Mall was behind us. Brilliant spots actually. And again we were crammed in like sardines for at least another two hours. Or that was the plan. It was pretty incredible really, people were climbing trees to see better. Cramming as far forward as they could. Pushing and shoving . . .

I broke away from the back to walk to the back of the section we were in which was still kind of open. My knees were really aching and I need to walk a bit to get the blood flowing around my body. Here was my first mistake. By moving away from the mass, I allowed the wind to get to me and I just started to get colder and colder. I am SO glad I found my hat because I dread to think about how I'd be feeling without it. Walking around there were people with blankets and cool shirts and dancing, lots of dancing. One group was even singing. There were a few trees dotted around and people were leaning up against them. I figured it would be a good idea to get off my feet and huddle close into myself to get warm. In fact, this was probably mistake number two.

The sun had started to come up by the time we were let into our section, we were totally preying it would warm things up. As I sat down against the tree, the morning sun felt kind of nice on my face. I snuggled into myself and was watching people walk by and talk and laugh and complain about the cold and talk about how long they had been standing there. Next thing I know, someone was poking me and I opened my eyes to more daylight and a woman telling me my lips had gone purple. I don't know a lot about cold climates and how the body copes, but I knew purple lips were not a good sign.

From then on things were down hill. I just could not get warm. I'd watched earlier as the crowds has pushed down one of the barriers and surged forwards. I knew trying to find the others was going to be a tough thing to do. So I walked to keep warm, determined to see Obama up on the screen and I did. I stayed just long enough to see the important part and then I ran. I had to get warm because I did not feel great and was now shivering more than I should have. Trying to get out of the Mall area was a huge feat. There were literally thousands of people around, still trying to get in. I've never seen so many people in my life. It was quite claustrophobic to be honest.

It took lots of walking and three Metro Stations to find one that was taking outgoing passengers. Everyone wanted out and up, not down and away! People. Everywhere. One security guy yelled at a woman for walking on a flowerbed that had clearly been trampled on by a hundred people before her. Children cried. Adults laughed. People pushed and cursed and cheered.

By the time I got out to the hotel, everything was cold and numb and sore. I walked like a cowboy, just a lot slower. When I got to the room (heater blasting away) I thought a hot shower would get me warm. However, room service had come and taken the towels and I guess took a break for the ceremony and not come back! Changing into warm clothes (those not out in the air) I huddled down in a bed to get warm. My guess is that I fell asleep again and when I woke some two hours later, there were towels sitting on the other bed. Room Service had been and gone and you know how loudly some of them knock!! I was still a little chill and on closer examination of my arms and legs, redder than I probably should have been. And dry skin to the max!!

But, I survived and witnessed a huge day in history. Which I am very grateful for. It was incredible to see it all, the ceremony, the crowds the city, the nation. It was amazing.

The trip out of D.C was pretty uneventful. Not as much traffic as I expected. Maryland and West Virginia were blanketed in snow. A very cool thing was on the way there we crossed a lake with flowing water. On the way home, it was frozen over! The biggest event was getting a flat tyre half way across West Virginia and then finding a one horse town with a garage to get a tyre. All a part of the experience really. I got to play in the snow too because in all honesty, having too many people trying to change a tyre is more trouble than it should be. I was happy to play in the snow.

Now we sit and wait and see what happens. I think America is in for a period of great change. We're yet to see if it'll be good or bad, but change is definitely coming and I think it's needed.

Washington D.C (finally!)- Part 1

In order to make the most of my hotel time, I bought the paper copy of In A Heartbeat in order to make some headway on the editing of it. However, I can't really focus right now so I decided its about time I sit down and talk about the big trip to Washington D.C.

A last minute bout of strep throat found Erin left behind in Kentucky and me hit the road with three other Kentuckians for the event that was to stop a Nation. To coin a phrase. Despite a slight mix up with meeting locations (these things happen) we were soon driving across Kentucky, then into West Virginia and up into Maryland. West Virginia was beautiful. Snow had fallen and it was stunning to look at. There were deer standing close to the road, just standing and grazing. At one point we even had a coyote come charging down the hill, almost up onto the road and then turn around and run back in the other direction.

Our stopping point was a middle of no where gas station which was in a log cabin, and had adds to rent log cabins just behind the gas station. It had a toilet and food, so you know, what more could you ask for? It was pretty smooth sailing after that.

There wasn't any traffic going into Maryland, though we had some fun spotting cars doing up to the D.C area for Obama's big day. We even had one group of people from Illinois take our photo for some random reason.

We got to our hotel, checked in, took in bags and decided to head into the Capital to check out The Mall. It was dark by the time we got there, and a little chill, but despite that there were still a descent number of people around. Screens and barriers had started to be put in place (this was the Saturday night) for Tuesday. In addition to that, there was an endless line or port-a-loos along the outer edges of the Mall. They were all locked. However, later in the night we spied an open one.

As we neared Lincoln Memorial, we discovered that we might not actually be able to go up into the Memorial which bummed Kalan out quite a lot. I was pretty bummed too, it a very awesome place to go into if you have the chance. Anyways, as it turned out, U2 was doing a sound check on the steps for the concert which was going to take place on the Sunday. That was pretty awesome. A free show from u2 with Abe Lincoln in the background, awesome! After that we walked a fair distance and ended up eating Ethiopian food which was scrumptious! And very filling in a deceiving kind of way. The evening wore on and I suddenly came to realise that my knees were not coping with the cold and as a result I was walking a whole lot slower than I wanted to be.

Sunday started off with sore knees and a major disappointment at the Smithsonian when I discovered that the brilliant X-Files display I'd been wanting to see since the items were donated, wasn't actually on display. The first guy I asked was dumber than dog shit and probably wouldn't be able to tell me who the next president was going to be if I had asked him. The second person wasn't too much more help, simply said it wasn't on display. Ha, no shit.

A little while after that I split from the others who were planning to see things I'd seen on a previous trip. So off I went, and able to go at my own pace without feeling like I was slowing everyone down. Seriously, I suddenly realised what it must be like for an old person living in a cold climate. It sucks bigtime! I made my way past the IRS Building, up to the Hoover Building (home of the FBI) and up into a Barnes and Nobles to grab some Starbucks and get warm. Little did I know staying warm was going to become an even bigger issue in the days to come.

From there I jumped on the Metro and went up to Dupont Circle to look at the old and weird homes up there. I also ventured across to the Australian Embassy which I discovered was all closed up, no one was home. Deciding what to do next was an issue. I was tired all ready, and just bored and cold and blah. Looking at my map I discovered I was close enough to the National Geographic Museum to check it out. And I did. It was small and I'd missed the photographic exhibition by like 10 days which I was bummed about. Whales are cool and all, but not exactly my thing. Stacy would have loved it! However, the amusement factor kicked in when the woman in the gift shop asked where I was from. Upon informing her, she and two other works cheered and declared I was the furthest so far. I'm pretty sure there's not too many other places that are further from Washington D.C then Melbourne, Australia. I'd made their day.

It was with renewed excitement that I left and headed out to Arlington National Cemetery. Here I finally found the first dregs of large crowds. It was really busy out there!! Arlington is such a vastly creepy place. But beautifully sad at the same time. I mean its just row after row after row of headstones. There are some lovely memorial areas out there and you can also get a great view of the Capital from the steps of Arlington House. I happened to be out there when the Inauguration Concert was on and it was actually echoing across the river to where I was!

A little under two hours out there turned me cold and darkness was starting to arrive. I headed back into D.C to meet up with the others at a Starbucks only to run into issues on the Metro, namely I couldn't get off at the stop I wanted to because of the crowds that had been in town from the concert. I had to get off two stops later and walk. Needless to say I was sore and cold when I got there to face a line of like 30 people waiting for coffee. I have to admit, I feared I'd be in line for like half an hour, but in actual fact it was less than ten minutes which I was highly impressed by. I lost count the number of times I'd been in line at Highpoint Starbucks and waited like 20 minutes for a coffee when there had only been three people in front of me. The crowds and lines were also a theme which would repeat themselves in the days to follow.

For now I am leaving it at Sunday night as I'm starting to get a headache. Not too much more happened that night, we went back to the hotel and got warm, drank beer and watched TV. And slept, which I have to admit was nice!!

I am a Refugee . . .The Big Freeze of 2009

So anyways, I know a lot of people have been wanting to hear about Washington D.C but in the days since my return it took a while to calm back down and be ready to see people again. Then there was Australia Day and now there are even bigger things going on. Which I want to talk about first. Seeing as its going to be at least another 35-40 hours before I leave my current location for good, I figure that'll be ample time to take the time to write about my adventures up north. In saying that, let me begin with why I'm a refugee.

Currently it's Wednesday evening around 6pm. So Monday was Australia Day. We went out to Outback Steakhouse for dinner. It was very depressing to learn that an Australian themed eatery didn't have anything happening for Aussieland's special day. Anyways, there was talk in the afternoon of a storm coming through and people were madly buying supplies like they were going to be trapped in their houses. This was generally met with disbelief because apparently the Weather people are in the same class as Frosty, they tend to lie a lot. Monday night I had trouble falling asleep and it was gone 2am before I finally nodded off.

At 7:30am George comes knocking with extra blankets. Apparently the power went off at 6am and hadn't come back on. The central heating had been off. So he was making sure we were warm enough. Well by the time that was all over and he was curled up in bed sleeping, the rest of us were awake, so got up. Well, what an interesting site greeted us Tuesday morning. Everything was frozen. Seriously, everything. It was so weird!! Needless to say we spent Tuesday inside. Preying the electric would come back on so we could get the heaters running again, cook and just generally have electricity to see and what not. Thank goodness for an outdoor camping stove which provided the means to boil water and make soup. However, with Erin's allergies to the cold and Nancy being sick, staying in a house which was getting progressively colder was not going to be an option, regardless of how many torches and candles we had.

Thus began the challenge of trying to find a hotel. Which was hard. Lots of people were out of power and doing the same thing. Eventually we came across a place in downtown Richmond that would fit us in. Last available room. So around dusk we were finally set to leave the house and head into town. It had been 12 hours since the power went off. The were trees down, wires down, and ice everywhere. Earlier in the day I'd been outside and in the silence of the world, you could hear trees falling and popping as the weight of the ice made trees snap and it echoed across the silence. It was so eerie. I am now well acquainted with the sound of popped and shattering trees. We got to the hotel, parts of Richmond were out of electricity too, with shops closed and traffic lights out. There were trees down over roads and it was still raining.

After getting to the room, cranking on the heater, I decide to head out to Taco Bells to get some warm dinner for us. I've never driven in that kind of weather before, man it's certainly been a challenge and a very tense experience for me. So I head out to discover that in the time we'd been at the hotel, even more electricity had gone out, more traffic lights were down and pretty much all of Richmond from what I could see was out of power. So I drove to the other side of town and found that Mc Donalds near Kroger was open. And every person in Richmond was there. The curious thing is that everyone wanted to go through the drive through, no one was parking and going inside! Which being a Non-American I did. God forbid they have to walk anywhere!! I think I was in McDonalds for about 45 minutes and all I could hear were people complaining. I mean think about it, there are now hundreds, if not thousands of people without heat and power, all needing food. If you get a double cheeseburger instead of just a standard cheeseburger, deal with it and just leave, don't cause a scene!!

It really kind of annoyed me. And the staff weren't helping. I think they were doing their fair share of complaining too. Thus, finally armed with food, I got back into the car, back out onto the crazy roads (I had not a lot of vision, both side mirrors were frozen over!). So I settle back in to the hotel, were eating and then watching property shows when suddenly, after 9pm, the power goes out, the heater goes off and we're blanketed in darkness. Yes, the rest of the place had lost power. After much discussion we decided to stay put. The house had not had any heat since 6am that morning, at least the heater had been running in the hotel. So we stayed, rugged up, and slept.

George came knocking at 7:30am again, then again later at 10am. Finally we ventured out of the hotel into a white world of snow and ice and still no power. Anywhere. Once again we headed back to McDonalds in the hope it was open and working. It was and it was full again. But warm and had food. They even extended the breakfast hours until 11:30am. One guy was talking he'd heard on the news that 60,000 people in Kentucky were without power. And I'd believe it. A change from the night before was that everyone, staff and customers combined, were much nicer and happier and couldn't do enough for each other. Everyone was in the same boat.

From there we headed back to the house with the intention in mind of packing better and trying to find a hotel further afield to house ourselves for a few days. The roads back to the house were crazy. More trees down, more power lines down with lots more ice. It was so beautiful, yet kinda scary. We got back eventually, tucked Nancy up on the couch and hunted around for some hotels. We found one in Lexington, though the room we were trying to get was booked in between us hearing about it and the time we actually booked it. No big deal. We have a room with a King bed and fold out couch. We're all warm and safe and have a place to sleep. Plus, we've power and Internet access!!

We left the house around 3pm and headed up to Lexington which is where we are now. On the way up we were listening to the radio. It could be days until we get power again. Malls and shops are out of gas products and cookers, places are without water and power and no school is happening for the rest of the week. Its crazy. But like I said, as long as the power holds up, we're fine where we are. Might go a little stir crazy being holed up in a room together, but we'll be warm and safe! Plus there's a big plasma in the room so that's kinda cool too.

So here we are, 36 hours after losing power. Who knows what the next few days have waiting for us.

The Eve of D.C

Winter is here, and in stronger force than I have ever known before. We've not even ventured up to Minnesota yet! The past few days has seen the temperatures drop below zero, hovering around -17 Celsius at one point there. The very odd thing is that there is no snow outside! We had some when it was a little warmer (which sounds rather odd) but its long gone now. At least the Squirrel has been spotted back in the Gow's garden, that's something exciting!

Indeed as the title states, tomorrow we pile into the car and drive North for Washington D.C which no doubt will be a thing a lot of people will be doing in the next few days. Its all rather exciting really, I'm so happy to be going up to D.C for such a historic event. There are five of us going, and only four tickets for the ticketed area for the actual ceremony for Obama, and I nominated myself to be the one to 'miss out' only I really don't see it like that. Besides, I'm the only non-American going and I sort of feel that it's more important to them, but for different reasons. I'm happy simply to be going. Don't get me wrong, if someone handed me a ticket I am so there, but to simply be in the Mall with thousands of thousands of people is just going to be mind blowing. And I sort of feel like I'll get to experience it through the eyes of lots of different Americans. Because I am sure we'll mix and talk in the hours we're waiting for it all to begin!

I have been keeping busy. While my sole project while in the US was to sit and do a re-write of In A Heartbeat for the self publishing deal via NaNoWriMo we're also decided that Erin and I are going to help the Gow's have a clear out. We've been doing well so far and bit by bit things are happening. The past two days has been the office area and I have to admit to having a sense of accomplishment by looking at what is there now. It keeps me busy, satisfies the OCD impulses I have and it practical for those on the receiving end.

We've also settles on dates for our trip to Minnesota, via Southbend on the way up and Des Moines on the way back. February is going to be a busy month all round. A little travel, some Jeff Dunham and the daunting task of finding a job in the UK before I get there. Or at least line up interviews. Its also a little exciting too I think. Its a new chapter of life and while to begin with I won't have the freedom to get 'the' job, I think in time that will happen.

People have been asking about wedding plans and if Erin and I are breaking up or not. Firstly and most importantly, we are not breaking up. The wedding was simply post-poned because of timing and money issues. Something we've been talking about for a good few weeks now. This past week the stress of being away from routine and uncertain about future plans has taken its toll. However, things are back on the road to recovery. So no one panic, stress or worry. Everything is fine. In some twisted kind of way we should be celebrating our first, big, serious argument. In over three years when you consider all thats been going on, that's pretty good!

My return to London has also been something people have been asking about. So here's where I am at. As of today (quite early this morning in fact!!!) I've pushed applying for the OA position at Pax to the back burner. Depending on how things go, it may be something I consider at a later date. However, for the moment there strong plans of being an LTR at Pax until May. In that time, I hope to find a regular income so when May comes along, I find a new place to live and venture out into the world that way. Hopefully that for the time being will satisfy people's curiosity.

Not Just County, but State

So anyways, I finally had a brush with the law. I have to admit, it was a little scary. In all honesty the belt and hat man probably was trained to talk the talk and scare the crap out of people, so I shouldn't take it too personally -but crap I did! He scared me! Turns out Little Miss Nancy is breaking the law, who'd have guessed it?! Kind of like the way registration work in Oz, there is a similar thing here, but rather than a rego sticker, there is a coloured square that goes on the number plate. Basically, Nancy's is yellow when it should be green, and should have been green some eight months ago, oops.

We are driving round Richmond after buying bird seed and I suddenly went 'oh shit shit what do I do, what do I do??!!' without actually informing my two passengers that there was a flashing police car behind me. I guess I didn't notice right away because the guy didn't have sirens! Too bad if I had been blind...wait...after trying to figure out which traffic law I had broken and finally pulling over (all in about 5 seconds by the way), Mr Hat and Belt got out of the car and talked about something called a tag and yours truly gave a blank look and pointed to the woman in the back saying that she was the owner.

After asking for my licence and pointedly telling me I needed an International Drivers Licence, I pointedly told him that the people I spoke to said I didn't because I was only here on holiday. He takes my licence and Nancy's insurance card and walks back to the car. The three of us chat a little, Erin declared she's never been pulled over by the cops in the US and he eventually comes back. This is the part that scares me.

He informs me that he's only going to give Nancy a caution notice on the condition we go first thing Monday morning to get this tag thing sorted. Otherwise if he issues (the equivalent of) a penalty notice, I'll be summonsed to court because I was the driver and if I wasn't in the country when this happened, some sort of warrant would be issued for failure to appear and when I enter the country next, I'll end up in jail. Wholly crap man!! Even if it was all talk talk to scare me, it so totally worked and I was like freaking out! I like the United States, I'd like to come back!

As we drive off, I'm informed I didn't just get pulled over by a County Cop, but a State Trooper. Or someone similar. I suppose if I am going to get messed up in something like that, it's good to just cut out the little man.

Worlds Apart

I always feel that on my "long haul" trips to the US there is always a grace period where I am so swept up in the coolness of being in a new country, that everything is great and new and different and I just accept it as being so without questioning on giving things a second thought. Like most phases, that wears off and suddenly I find myself paying a little more attention to what it is I am actually seeing.

Yesterday, I believe, the grace period ended. Or at least for the moment.

Back in Australia there was usually a clear divide about classes, or about wealth or education. It was rare in 'every day life' to be confronted with someone or some place that was not of your own sort. I know this makes me sound like I am a huge snob, and certainly I do not consider myself a snob, but I'm trying to find the right words to describe what it is I am seeing and this is really the only way I know how. So clear class, education and economic divide. Perhaps it is the region I am in of the States, but I almost feel like I am not seeing that here. There seems to be no line. Though in saying that the people who live here clearly see a divide, especially in education, between Richmond and Irving -where ever that is. There were some jokes being thrown around which seemed similar to those you'd be hearing about Broadmeadows, so I can only really assume these things.

Driving around yesterday it struck me how little divide there is (among other things) between class and economy. I mean its utterly bizarre to be driving along in rural Richmond (of which is comparable in size to Seymour, Victoria) and see beautiful brick homes, well kept and presented with nice cars. Somewhat what you'd expect of middle class, possibly in some cases bordering on upper class. Though again this is using comparable Australian expectancies. And yet right next door there is a trailer (portable home) which barely looks fit for human habitation, surrounded by long grass, old and broken cars and enough rubbish to start a land fill. Right there, nestled between two presentable homes. Its so strange.

What strikes me more is in that yard of what I see as rubble, sits a brand new (or appears to be) car. I just can't fathom living in something that barely looks worth $20 yet driving a car that no doubt has cost something like $30,000 + and could easily house a person in a nicer home. The other day Erin told me that here, everyone needs at least one car, even if it is at the sacrifice of how you live because here, a car is everything. Looking at the non-existent transport system and the sheer fear of walking, I can understand why. But on the flip side of that, you get people who are driving unsafe cars which have body work that is certainly not up to safety standards which have been merely spray painted over and based on the assumption that you can't see it, then it's fine! Yesterday at Hamburg Pavilion a car pulled up beside us with a man, woman and young baby. The bonnet was held down with one of those ropes with hooks on either end that you keep in the car (I so can't think of the name right now!) and one of the back windows were taped up. I felt so sorry for that child. For it's safety. For the fact that its parents didn't value it's life enough to not drive a death trap like that. 'Mom' was talking on what appeared to be a Blackberry (can you even talk on a blackberry??). Dad was wearing a pair of converse runners that certainly would have cost a pretty penny. Either that or both had fallen off the back of a truck which I hadn't really thought of until now . . . .

What I am trying to say is that there seems to be no divide between classes or money or education (which I didn't really touch on). Which isn't a bad thing, it's nice to know that people can mix! Its just that visually is quite unexpected to see.

I just, for a country that on the surface appears similar to Australia, it's quite jarring to experience everyday American life and find that they're a lot further apart than you expect them to be.

I could start on food, but I might just leave that until another day because frankly that'll be another long one full of things I do not understand. I always tell people, following on from my experiences, that if they go to America for a holiday to not just fly in and out of the major cities, rather hire a car and drive across a state or two and see just how different life really is. Because it really is. I have a great respect for Americans in small town, even if I don't really understand why they do certain things. Because more often that not they seem to be miles away from anything and I don't know! I just started writing what I was thinking and I can't structure it!!

Its a New One

Hardly seems like it was before Christmas that I wrote. Its been a number of days which really don't feel like that many at all. However when I think about it, a lot has been crammed in there so its very possible that it's been a while!

Now, Christmas. It was really good in a Gow kinda way! I've become accustomed to celebrating Christmas a little different to my own upbringing, but its sorta nice in a quiet kind of way. Comforting even, to know that commercialising such a time can reach far, but not always penetrate everywhere. In saying that, I got a nice stash of goodies, including my own mail box. Yep, a real life black, USA post approved, metal mail box complete with a little red flag. Its pretty cool!! Needless to say keeping it with me (ie to the US provided much thinking) but it's all sorted now. In addition to that, a harmonica (ha ha ha Erin!!) and much chocolate and good things which aren't as unique as the two I mentioned.

Christmas ended that night with us letting off the fireworks we bought before leaving Tennessee as Nancy and George were going to be away for New Years and well, we got some exciting things that Nancy had to be there for. It was friggin awesome. We even scored an audience of locals :-) and one of the rockets we've still not been able to find.

Along with celebrating the festive season in Kentucky comes the annual Girl Scout gathering at the Gow household. Its been happening for years and I love them because anything can happen and its just a great mix of people who talk about anything. Plus there is always much greatness of foods. And indeed, its always a learning experience. Now see, this year was rather wet. Well at least a little for some, and a lot for others. The Cecils gave me a late birthday present part of which was a very cool dolphin water pistol. Which I just so happened to bring out because I'd been bugging Erin and Nancy with it all the week and they felt the Cecils should have to deal with some of it. Things escalated when Vince went out to the car and returned with something of the Super Soaker variety, and went further still when water was moved via glass onto a head. Oh dear. So not only was it hilariously funny for those watching, it was good fun for those involved too! Ahh what's life without some reckless fun?! Point being I had a great night, I always look forward to the gatherings and I am never disappointed.

The last day of 2008 was spent going through all of Erin's earthly possessions. Wow. It was a task and a half for lots of reasons! But come 8pm on NYE we were done!!! And it looks good and well, there are now lots of bags and boxes out in the garage. As a result of all the hard work during the day, it wasn't surprising that I was almost asleep before midnight. Which I feel is okay as it was only the two of us, we weren't having a wild party and it was far too cold (like -8C!) to let off the remainder of the fireworks.

Great news follows with the purchase of tickets to Jeff Dunham!! Yay! Bring on Feb 15th! I'm so very excited about seeing him and the gang live, seriously, I all ready know it'll be worth every penny. Unfortunately the ticket which didn't happen was the one to Canada. I held off too long in sorting it out and as a result I now don't have one. Which I have to admit sucks pretty bad because I really was looking forward to heading to Ottawa for a while. I guess these things just aren't meant to be, right?

The weather in general hasn't been too bad. When we arrived back in Kentucky it was freezing, but it actually warmed up a bit (well it went above zero and up to around 10C) and now it's gone back down again. It snowed for a little while this morning, but not enough to stick.

Plans are starting to take shape for the big trip to Washington DC to see the President Elect sworn in. We know where we are staying, Erin did tell me but I don't remember right now . . . and I'm excited just to be going really! With lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of other people of course. I'll be there when History is made and that's pretty awesome.

We've been able to catch up with Maggie as well since returning to KY. Twice in fact. The first time we rescued her from boredom and she helped to bake cookies. The second time was legendary Pesto Pizza at Mellow Mushroom followed by some post-Christmas shopping which is always fun when you're in the crowds. I found a mega, uber cool X-Files book and Erin got a new puppet which even now I stand by the idea it had coffee on it!!

Now that the new year has arrived, its time to get serious about things. Time to think forward to whats coming, even if I can't be sure of too much of what is happening. Point is, something will. Until then, I am happy to have a little fun and explore a little. Rest up and work at the same time. Believe me, it can be done.

3330 Miles

That's the total sum of distance we drove from Los Angeles into Lexington to return the car. Which in itself was a story because the return point is listed as Lexington Bluegrass Airport. Now you see, the thing about Lexington Airport is its maybe twice the size of Wynayrd Airport, plus some. So it's not real big. So it's really hard to get lost in. Not that we got lost. But we soon discovered that the return point may have been listed as Lexington Bluegrass Airport, but the location was actually off site and we had to follow a shuttle bus to goodness knows where in Lexington. All I can figure out it, that it was actually no where near Lexington Bluegrass Airport. These people are on Frosty's side. They're all a pack of liars.

So I have missed a great bunch of time and out last few location. I actually have an offline entry on my laptop that I wrote on our night in Chattanooga, Tennessee because I couldn't pick up wireless for some stupid reason in the room we moved to. Always a great adventure on that last night to be had, I'm sure. Basically there were toilet issues and we had to shift rooms. That's all I am saying.

Anyways, that last day on the road was probably a good thing. It was high time to get out of the Van and walk and be in a house. We stopped just before the Kentucky boarder and spent a bunch of USD on some pretty awesome looking fireworks which I have to tell you I'm rather excited about lighting. I can't help it, maybe there is a small strain of pyromaniac in me.

Alas we are back home in Richmond, Kentucky. And it really is a beautiful state. I just love the scenery and the small town feel of the place. That you can be in the middle of nowhere and there is a huge massive world out there and you can just put your head in the ground and ignore it. I really love it. Hence it's been a while since I wrote. It's been a blur of catching up on sleep, unpacking, getting ready for Christmas and freezing my arse off. Seriously guys. Today is the first time is gone above zero since returning. I even feel last night on some bricks out back (twice mind you) and I can assure you it's not fun. It hurts!

That aside, I went shopping for some warm gloves and a super cool but way too warm jacket. It's multiple layers and makes me look like a marshmallow man or something. Its rather hilarious. But certainly it'll be needed when we head North to Minnesota in February, and very much so when I head to Ottawa at the end of January to see Erin M. Yay! I even have long johns. It's scary. I'm an Australian, we don't even know how to wear these things! Or at least I've never had to.

So it's Christmas in Australia and Sandi takes prize as sending me the first SMS of the holiday. At 1am in the morning, what on earth are you doing up that early girl!! But thanks, the sentiment and thought is much appreciated because it's going to suck to wait another 24 hours to open presents. I can't help it, I'm a kid at heart :-)

Thus today, December 24th, will consist of baking, present wrapping and rescuing Maggie from her void of boredom which seems very Maggie like since I imagine that it's rather weird not to be thinking about study all the frigging time. Rest assured my friend, time with me will always be entertaining!!

Anyways, I think that just about does it at the moment, time to start the day, more so that just waking up and having breakfast and a cup of Yoga Tea. Its raining now.

The Last Leg

Its our last night on the road. Its been a long trip. It'll be good to get out of the car. I've experienced a real life Road Trip of long proportions across several states from West to South to South East. Phew, lots to see and experience. Tonight we rest our heads in Chattanooga, Tennessee.

Friday we drove across the rest of Mississippi, crossing into Alabama and further still into Georgia, spending the night in Atlanta. One thing I have noticed about big city America is that there is a theme of confusing roads and that usually includes a six lane freeway at some point!! I liked Atlanta even if most of it was seen in the dark and in the rain.

Today, Saturday, we were in Atlanta for the morning and early afternoon, seeing a puppet show about a love struck snowman and wandering around the Puppetry museum there. They even had the original KOB puppet on display. But the pretty cool thing was they had Big Bird there! Yep, in a display case as though he had jumped off the TV screen and into the museum. It was great!

The last night on the road has had drama. Issues with a toilet which lead to it overflowing which has resulted in us moving rooms and now dealing with a smoking room smell. Crap. And that's only a part of it! Oh wells. Tomorrow its back to Richmond, Kentucky and back to the Gow household and the comfort and warmth it holds waiting for us. Woohoo!

Erin read Twilight, that new book everyone seems to be reading and talking about. I've not a clue. It took me like five years to catch onto the Harry Potter phrase so you know. . . Anyways, we been wandering into places to buy the second book in about three different states, if not more! That in itself has been an adventure.

Anyways, its late and Mrs Bucket is on the TV so I am going.

Entering the Deep South

Well here I sit in Jackson, Mississippi and it's so humid outside! Goodness me! It was like the moment we crossed the Mississippi River from Louisiana to Mississippi the humidity went through the roof!!

Its been interesting to watch the landscape change again. Though the last of three days in Texas was kinda foggy and this afternoon across Louisiana got sort of misty too . . .but you can see subtle changes. I guess the changes have more been in the people. From Hispanics to, well I guess African-Americans is the politically correct term these days. I'm not a racist, far from, but suddenly I'm much more aware of my skin colour which up until now hasn't really been a conscious though. But let me go back a few days.

Tuesday morning we left Odessa, Texas. I left off talking about the Globe Theatre. Well by the time we left (it seriously took us an hour to get out of that place, we thought we'd remain there our whole life!!) we came across not only Shakespeare's Globe, but a scaled replica of Stone Henge! It was hilarious!! Eventually we found our way out of Odessa and hit the road again. Nothing major happened between there and Dallas, only that Dallas and Fort Worth are about 30 miles apart but they sprawl and mix in the centre. That place was huge!! And the traffic and roads in the dark are majorly confusing!!

That night I was introduced to another American Eatery -Denny's. I have to admit, I'm not hugely inclined to go back. I mean the food was nice and all and the pumpkin pie was yummy, but I don't know. It sorta creeped me out a little bit. Maybe it was that particular one.

Oh my gosh, third night running the cartoon version of Survivor is on Cartoon Network and I'm not too sure how much more I can handle. Its so stupid but Erin and Nancy love it. I don't know why!! Its on at the moment and they're laughing and oh my gosh, is it any wonder I've been playing games on the computer in the evening?!!

Anyways, Dallas was freezing and we woke in the morning to a mist and light rain. Visibility wasn't really good so it made driving on those mad highways even worse! At one point I counted five layers of roadway piling skywards. Shoot it was crazy. We ventured to a Mc Donalds built like a Happy Meal but was all very posh inside (totally bizarre!) and then we continued on to Texas Stadium, home to the Dallas Cowboys which was pretty cool. The guy who signed us in said Yáll about three times which just cracked my up (not to his face mind) and we went into the Pro-Store and saw lots of mad things to buy.

The rest of the drive to Shreveport, Louisiana was in fog so we really didn't see too much. We actually arrived in Shreveport in daylight which made a nice change! We stayed at Diamond Jacks Casino which was an interesting experience and a huge room! Seriously, the bathroom part would have been as big as the bedroom part!! And brightly coloured too. But totally cool. The casino was kinda lame, but the main activity of the night was catching up with Shanna and Phillip and finally meeting Anna-Claire! And how adorable is she?! And just a cute baby! And totally mad about Shanna. You can see it when it beams across her face. We ate at a Steak House on the Boardwalk which in itself was a really interesting place down along the river. Its sort of set up like shops on a street, but there are no cars down there and kinda like an outdoor shopping centre. But it was all festive and we even saw Santa on a tram.

Today, Thursday, we stopped for some Mini-Golf in Bossier City before hitting the road again. I won!! Ha!! But 4 strokes, but I won! So the Chattanooga Challenge will be on and a chance for Gow Snr to re-claim her title of winner!! Anyways, it was misty again today and slightly humid, but like I said, big time once we crossed the river. Drove a little around Vicksburg and saw some lovely old homes and the place where Coca-cola was first bottled. There were even casinos on the river too!!

Anyways, I have some Ben and Jerry's calling my name so I should go and answer it. Traveling across America in a car has been an interesting experience, its a good chance to learn more about me, Nancy and Erin too! Oh and Sealy, who seems to be my outlet of someone to talk to when I get bored. She always answers.

Tomorrow, we head to Atlanta, driving across Alabama in the process.