Relationships

Its become increasingly aware to me that I have a growing number of friends who are unhappy in their relationships. Surprisingly to them, its because there is some sort of unequal meeting of minds. I've always counted myself lucky to have found Erin. More so recently, when things have been harder and more adult like to deal with. Right from the word go we promised each other that we were not going to become people who morph into a couple and lose sight of who we are as individuals.

I'm happy to report that six and a half years later we're still true to that. And frankly that's fine by me! While we do complete each other, we do not occupy each other. I have my friends, she has hers and then we have friends which are shared. That's not to say we don't mingle, I know her friends and she knows mine, but we both value and respect the fact that we both have different needs from our friends. They represent elements our personalities need which are lacking in each other. I think that's healthy. I mean I wouldn't want to be the sole supplier of Erin's social happiness, it would be somewhat draining! I expect she feels the same.

What I love most about us that while we have dreams and goals as a couple, we still have dreams and goals as individuals and respect each other for that. We don't stand in the way, we support where we can and while we might not understand the need or why, we understand that its important to who we are and that's what matters. We compromise a little, but not at the expense of losing who we are. After all, its being ourselves that we both fell in love with some time ago. Fundamentally I'd never want Erin to change who she is, yes she's a book loving nerd who enjoys sci-fi and classic stories and a thirst for academic knowledge. But I fell in love with that, I'd never want it to change.

Relationships are complicated at the best of times, be it with friends, colleagues or random people we need to deal with at dentists or doctors or even on the train. Despite these complexities, we need them. But for me what I need more is someone who, at the end of the day, will love me no matter what. For who and what I am. And for what I dream about at night.