Appriciation

That's not true, I want to retract that comment. I have not lost myself. I just find myself in a work place where I no longer feel I am of any use to the people here. I feel that I can't help, I can't get any joy out of the job like I used to. This whole copier/stores thing has become a right pain. I work my ass off for these people, busting my butt to go above and beyond. But the second something goes wrong (usually through a third party and of no doing of my own) I'm the worst in the world and crap at my job. I'm tired of other people having a go at me because of things other people have done. When things go missing, or stop working or people don't show up -it's always my fault. People take it out on me and I am so over it. I just don't feel that I'm any good here any more.

At the moment my desktop background is a photo from my window at Pax Lodge. So it shows the front lawn, drive and road out onto the street. Its actually kind of nice. Most importantly though it reminds me of a time when I felt I was achieving something. I felt like the work and effort I put in was appriciated. Yes it was an office job and yes at times I just wanted to break out of the bubble, but people really honestly thanked me for the work I did for them. I'm not asking for certificates or parties or anything, but a simple thank you once in a while would be nice. It just seems that phrase is not in the vocab of people in this building.

No wonder I wanted to quite. I think deep down I still do.